I cannot pinpoint the exact moment in my life in which everything began to fall apart. I'm not even sure if there was a distinguishable beginning. For as far back as I can remember, it has just existed within me. All this fucked up-ness has just been a part of me. I'd like to say that it all started when my ex-boyfriend broke my heart, but that would just be a pitiful attempt at placing blame on someone else. It's time I start taking responsibility for myself. It's my fault that I am the way I am. I'm trash. I'm a disaster. A walking example of perfect mistake.
I'm gay. And that in itself says enough. Being gay ruins your chances of ever finding happiness...because if you're gay, you don't deserve it.
I don't know why the word gay is used to describe people like me. I'm as unhappy as they come. They should call us melancholy...or distressed. Something other than a word that basically screams, "Hey, I'm happy as fuck!"
Ontop of my flawed sexual preferences, my body is disgusting. At 6'2, I am a whopping140 pounds. Disgusting, I know. Lanky, disgusting mess. In all honesty, I knowthat I am underweight. I know that I should eat my breakfast every morning, andnot vomit up the small meals I call dinner each night. But that doesn't changethe fact that I'm disgusting. What the scale says, and what the doctor says,and what everybody else says...that doesn't matter to me. Every time I look intothe mirror, I do not see skin and bones. I see a fucking gross boy who doesn'tdeserve love. A boy who would probably just be better off dead.
YOU ARE READING
OLLY.
Teen FictionOliver Otis Shepherd wants to die. There is too much bad in the world for him to want to stay. Between his ex-boyfriend completely obliterating his heart and his own self-destructive habits, it is all just too much. Olly feels that he has seen his d...
