OLLY.

Strangers in my Home

My father has been gone for ages. At least the man I grew up with has been. Maybe he changed once his best friend died. Or maybe the man he was when I was a child was just a well played façade. He used to give a fuck about things. About basketball games and school shows. About family outings and birthday parties. I don't know the man that lives in my house anymore. He's become a stranger. 

These days, he's always propped back in his velvety green recliner, sleeping for hours on end. When he is actually awake, which is on very rare occasion, he's glued to the television, with a beer held loosely in his hand. Don't get me wrong. He's no alcoholic, but he likes his drinks. 

Mom's always at work. Or shopping. Or pretty much anywhere that isn't home. Like dad, she's lost her touch over the years. It's not that my parents don't love my siblings and me. I think parenting is just not something they are cut out for. I know deep down they care, but they aren't too good at showing it.

With me, mom was very hands on. Always way too submerged in my business. Then, my sister came along. Mom was a little more relaxed. She relied on me to entertain Serenity while she got her nails polished or shopped for yet another blouse for yet another Girls' Night Out with her friends. And then Stephen was born. By then, I might as well have been his mother. The routine of taking care of him became just that; routine. Dress him for school, pack his lunch, take him to the bus, manage to make it to my own school in time for class, which I never did, and make it back home in time to pick up Stephen from the bus stop, prepare him a snack, and help him complete his homework. That's how it used to be. Up until last year. Up until I stopped caring altogether. 

Now, my family is lucky if they see me even twice a week. I hardly ever leave my room. On the rare occasion that I do see Serenity-when mom manages to force me to drive her to a friend's or somewhere out in the world- she tries her hardest to convince me that our parents have changed. That they are good people. Maybe I believe her or maybe I don't. I'd have to see for myself...but I don't care enough to do so.