I Couldn't Care Less

The Wait

"You don't have to call me every day," Luhan told the taller boy, but of course he doesn't mean it. Far from it. What he really wants is for his boyfriend to call him every second of the day just so he could hear his warm voice – just so he could feel like they're not that far apart.

But he knows that it's impossible because Sehun's schedule during his trip to Jeju is jam-packed. In fact, it'll be a miracle if Sehun even finds the time to call him or text him. Still.... a part of Luhan hopes that Sehun does go out of his way to give him a call, to let him know that he was okay. It was a completely illogical, selfish wish, yet Luhan couldn't stop himself from wishing otherwise.

All of the other music department students have already boarded the plane, so now it was just the two of them, standing rather awkwardly in front of the departure gate.

Luhan was shifting uneasily on his feet while Sehun, standing two feet away, was gripping his backpack unnecessarily hard. An unspoken truth filled the air. Neither of them was willing to say goodbye.

"I'm going to," Sehun replied firmly, staring into Luhan's eyes.

Luhan wished the younger one hadn't – it only made it more difficult for him to let Sehun go.

Giving Sehun a meek smile, Luhan gestured for him to go through the sliding doors, where a stewardess was impatiently waiting for him. "You're going to miss your flight if you don't go now."

Sehun frowned. "Fine." He turned to leave, but after three steps he looked back. "Don't worry too much. Eat all your meals. If you get sick, make sure to take medication -"

"Sehun-ah, I should be telling you that." Luhan crossed his arms.

"Just take care of yourself."

Luhan smiled. "You too, Sehun-ah. Now go." Or I'll be force to snatch you back and never let you go.

Sehun took a deep breath, waved bye to Luhan, and walked through the doors – not looking back. It's better that way Luhan told himself as he stared at Sehun's receding back.

Ten minutes later, Luhan was still standing in front of the gate. Reality not yet settling in that Sehun was on a plane 30000 feet off the ground - somewhere Luhan can't easily get to.

With a lifeless sigh, Luhan finally left. In the taxi ride back, Luhan stared out the window, unintentionally looking up at the sky. Sehun-ah...I already miss you.

He shook his head. This isn't good. How was he supposed to survive 10 days, 240 hours, 14400 minutes, 864000 seconds (and counting) without Sehun if he was already missing the boy terribly?

They woke up that morning not really saying anything to each other. Luhan had decided the night before that the only way he'll get through the day is by not touching the boy so while Sehun was hugging his other hyungs goodbye, Luhan stood far away in a corner, quietly observing. On the ride to the airport, they were silent, not sitting too close to each other. Each of them were too preoccupied with thoughts of separation to initiate any small talk. The taxi driver kept looking over his shoulders, curious as to why his two passengers were not interacting much, but thankfully he didn't ask. They walked into the airport with a considerable distance between them. Luhan thought it was easier that way because he knows that if he was to so much as hold Sehun's hand, he would just cling on, refusing to let go.

Now as he sat alone in the back of a taxi, Luhan thought maybe he should have at least given Sehun a hug. Maybe he should have said more. Maybe he should have held on a little more. Maybe if he did those things, this void he was feeling wouldn't be so bad. Maybe...