Someone New (Sequel to We're A Secret)

Chapter 1

A.N. Guess who's back, back again

"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."

Camila's P.O.V.

I stared at the ceiling of my new dorm room dreamily, thinking about all of the new opportunities I would have now that I was away from my mother and on my own. I had a new life here and new friends and new chances for love. I could take any classes I want and do anything I want (within limits). Nothing could possibly be better for me than going to college.

Of course, the added obstacle of my new roommate being Lauren Jauregui's girlfriend made the experience a little more annoying, but it was unavoidable and I didn't have to let Lauren ruin my college life if I didn't want to. I could easily just ignore her entire existence and go on as if the love of my life wasn't hanging out in my dorm room almost every day.

In fact, she was here now, sleeping peacefully next to Orion, her tattooed arms wrapped tightly around her girlfriend. If it didn't cause a pang in my heart, I would think it was actually adorable. They seemed like an incredibly happy couple and I couldn't help but be jealous of the way Lauren treated Orion. Of course, I knew there was no point in dwelling on something that would only prove to make me upset.

So, I thought about the last few years of my life, the years of my life I lived happily without anyone else providing the happiness. I thought about the years of recovery I had to go through before I came out stronger than I had ever been, and how no matter how tedious it seemed, it was worth every single painful second. I thought about how I had found new friends who deeply appreciated me and were there for me for everything, quite like my old friends, who unfortunately didn't keep contact after I moved away. I thought about the strong relationships I formed with people and how they had helped me learn new things and experience new adventures.

My reminiscing was soon interrupted by the distinguishable sound of someone yawning, and I peered over at Lauren, who was sleepily rubbing at her eyes.

"Good morning." She said in that raspy voice that used to make my heart race.

"Morning." I responded in a monotone and she quickly got off of Orion's bed, padding her way over to me.

"Are you doing anything today?" She asked as she approached me, leaning casually against my bed frame.

I furrowed my brow at her question, wondering why she was asking me that question when her girlfriend was literally five feet away.

"Nothing besides classes." I answered and she smiled widely, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"Great! Dinah invited us to lunch, did you know she's dating Normani now? Weird stuff." Lauren said gleefully, retreating back to Orion's back, poking her girlfriend in the cheek until she woke up.

I stared at the two of them as I processed what Lauren had just said. Dinah invited me and her to lunch. When did Lauren speak to Dinah? Since when did Dinah want to speak to me again?

"Camila, we're going to breakfast, want to join?" Lauren asked kindly and I stared at her again, completely bewildered by her sudden kindness.

"Uh...no that's ok. I have to do my homework." I replied nervously and Lauren frowned for a fraction of a second before she shrugged and grabbed onto Orion's hand, gently leading her out of the room.

After they left, I continued to think to my self about all of the things that happened to me over the years, yet, now they were all about Lauren and all of the terrible things that had happened during our relationship, and how she may or may not have been the catalyst of some of my emotional problems. Of course, I was 15 and I was in too deep for a 15 year old and that might have been why I ended up so incredibly fucked up in the head. I couldn't blame Lauren for my own feelings, I couldn't blame her for not being able to be with me when it was my own fault we broke up. The truth is, I was being unfair to her back then, and I'm still being unfair to her by purposely attempting to ignores her because I'm scared she's going to hurt me again when she never really hurt me. It was always me hurting myself.