THE

3.

We sit around the table and it's back to normal. Breakfast with the family and only I and Beau feel like we have been up forever, and the day hasn't even started yet. During the breakfast Landon keeps look from me to Beau as if he thinks he'll get an answer to what we did in so early in the morning out in the city, by just looking at our faces. I almost feel obligated to say something to Katalea but I'm not the only one who would get in truble so it's just better I let it be. I'm glad that everything is like it's supposed to be with everybody els, the same wild disscusions as normally.

What I can't stop thinking about is why Beau didn't ask her to come with us, why he didn't promise that kind of saftey. I feel sorry for her. It has to be very lonley that she can't be with us or the robots and she is the only one of her kind.

Suddenly Katalea rases her voice so everyone can hear her. "Listen everybody, I'm going away for a while". Then Indigo asks "What? When will you come back?" "In a few days or weeks...I don't know but I'm leaving as soon as possible after breakfast. I've already packed everything". Where is she going? I know that I'm not the only one wondering that, but no one asks and that's beacuse everybody knows that it won't help since she'll probably just say that what ever she is doing it's for our own best. Still she has never been away for longer than over the day so what she could be up to now is an even bigger mystery and I don't think that her reasuring explanations will be enogh to feed my curiousity. I want to know where she is going and why, and she shouldn't be going alone. Since we don't know how long she'll be gone we don't know when to get worried that something has happened and now well just be worried all the time instead. If she doesn't trust me coming with her on this mission she could atleast have taken Beau. I mean he is really good at fighting and the two of them would be sure to make it back safe and sound. But her alone I'm not completly sure of. Not wasting any time Katalea stands up, walks over with her plate and puts her bowl in the washing machine and makes a gesture that implies that she is leaving now. Indigo is first to hug her goodbye and then the rest of us line up and wait for our turn. When it is my turn I hold on as long as I she lets me and it is longer than I would have expected. Beau notices that I'm upset and tries to comfort me by secretly rubbing my back when I come to stand by him. Maybe it's better that he is staying after all. Me and Beau are closer than anyone els in this house and though we are so different we get eachother. It is easy being around Beau and now when Katalea is leaving I guess I feel like I need him even more, I don't know how I would get along with everybody els without him. I lean against Beau for support. He has never been a very affectionate person and even when he tries to be nice there always has to be some kind of sarcasm involved but now I think he chose the right moment to be kind for real.

When Katalea leaves the room and goes to our room to get her bag everyone stays in the kitchen and keep mourning in silence but my curiosity won't let me just stand here and I have to go after her. When I get to her she is already on her way out the door. "Wait! Could you please atleast tell me where you are going? And no avoiding the question, I have to know something....please tell me something!" Without a warning tears start to fall down my cheeks and I stay just looking at her trying to find the answer myself. For a moment she is still and then she comes to embrace me and I hug her back sobing on her shoulder. I've never wanted her to stay as much as now. Crying in her arms makes me feel like a child again and the more I think about it the more it makes me think that if I wasn't so juvenile I might would have been able to come with her and I pull away and do my best to hold back from crying anymore. "I'm okay, you should go". She looks at me with empathy and says "Listen, I trust you so I'm going to tell you okay!? I'm going to the headquarters to try to break in so that I can find out more about these robotcops. I can't shake the feeling that there are more of us out there and if there is want to find them before the robotcops do. I didn't want to tell anyone of you about it expecially Beau, you know how he is!? He would insist on coming with me and I know that you need him here". I need him, even though it is true I don't like the unindependent vibe that I'm giving away and I guess that she sees that it bothers me a little and continues "all of you...I'm going to go now and I need you to keep this between us okay? Everybody are worried enough as it is. Goodbye Avengila, I love you". She has already closed the door before I get the chance to say it back. Maybe it would to painful or to hard to leave. She always leaves but evertime she does you can see it in her eyes that she'd rather stay at home with us having fun and doing whatever we want to but this is nothing like anyone of us would want it to be.

Landon comes and asks me if I'm okay and I think that I am. Landon on the contrary has always been the most caring guy I know and he always wants everyones best and he is the the little ones favorite. Then Dionna comes out from the kitchen followed by Trissy. "Did mamas little crybaby have a hard time saying goodbye. Come she is going to be fine, she always is". She was right I just wish that she would have reasured me with a little more grace and less attitude. "Seriously Dionna!? You just got to hit were it hurts don't you?" Landon says in a brave attempt of defending me. And just as fast Dionna makes her comeback, she has always been good at those. "Of cours that's what Beau does. But when he does it is to help us but when I do it I'm just mean". Landon sighs over never being able to talk to Dionna without being sassed out. The only one that Dionna doesn't have an attitude with is Beau and when think about it Beau is the only one that everyone gets along with. Landon gets pretty close but Dionna can't stand that he always is so kind and caring all the time.

This day seems to be one of the slower ones with a kind of sadness in the air weighing us down and we just spent the rest of the day watching movies instead. Luckly we all mostly like to do the same things otherwise it would be an endless fight on what was most fun.

I dream alot but sometimes I wonder how it actually will be in the future. Will everyone continue to be a family and we just keep saving kids so that they can be free in their minds and come live with us like sisters and brothers. Maybe it will get really crowded and we will have to pair up and start a new group of sisters and brothers. But most of all I wonder if I ever will fall in love and how that would change things around here. In the 21 century it was impossible to aviod falling in love and now I don't know but if anyone of us was to fall in love it would have to be with someone from our group which means that I would have to chose either Beau or Landon. I love them both very much but like brothers. What if I might not know that I am in love when I do fall because I don't know what it is supposed to feel like and since I don't know what it feels like I might aswell be in love with Beau or Landon anyways.