Ever So Important Quest of the Great Scorch

Chapter Three

They had just squeezed through the last tight spot when the caverns began to shake and the opening Colby Jack had just come through collapsed.

"Is the dragon tearing down its own house?" He asked.

All Cheddar could think about was how mad she was at Colby. They tore through the first big room, towards the sliver of light made by that gigantic door. It was difficult, and they were soon panting from the effort of pulling their feet from the sticky, soft ground. There was another quake, and the door opened wider, tipping forward into the light.

"One more and it will definitely fall!" Colby yelled.

They rushed through the door and steered to the right so they wouldn't be crushed. When Cheddar got to a pepperoni column that was short enough, she climbed onto it and pulled Colby up. They dashed over and she ran into the spinach forest.

"This isn't the right way! The map says we need to follow the path!" Colby yelled.

"Well, thanks to you, we've got to hide from that thing. It would see us right off if got back to the path."

He shut up and kept running. They heard an angry screech. The dragon had escaped its collapsing caverns. The ground under Cheddar and Colby's feet was tipping forward. They were running downhill. Cheddar lost her balance first and rolled. The giant spinach leaves stuck to her dough-coated body, wrapping her up so she couldn't use her arms to stop herself. The dragon let out another screech. She hit a bump and bounced, landed hard, and kept rolling. Her vision started flashing blurs of red between the swaths of green. Finally, she slowed down and came to a stop on her back. Her left side was wet. Colby smacked into her, pushing her further into the wet, and he groaned.

"The Tomato Sauce Sea?" He asked, worm-wiggling to try and sit up. He, too, was wrapped up like a spinach burrito.

Cheddar squirmed, already drenched through by the red puree. She just happened to be looking in the right direction to see a jet of oil spray down onto the spinach plants.

"How does it know we're here?" Cheddar complained. She squirmed harder. She could feel the spinach loosening as the tomato sauce soaked the dough. She freed one arm. "Colby, get into tomato sauce! It'll take off the spinach."

"Right," He diligently inched into the sea.

Cheddar used her free arm to yank off big strips until she had her other arm out, too. She pushed herself up on her shoulders and shook sauce out of her ear. Colby didn't even have an arm out yet, so she grabbed the stem that was poking the underside of chin and tore it off.

"The Wyvernoni!" Colby yelled, tearing at the spinach on his legs. Cheddar glanced up, saw the snaky monster slither-sneaking down the hill, and started tearing at the spinach on her legs. She tried to kick and scissor her legs, too, working the bindings apart.

But the dragon was close enough now for them to see its tongue lick across its charred lips. Cheddar scooted herself farther into the tomato sauce, wondering if diving underneath would save her if the Wyvernoni tried to deep-fry them.

Colby was throwing out his own special brand of curses—which weren't really any good.

"You wicked, withered-skinned, oil-wasting, hoarde-worrying, wrinkle-roasting Wyvern!" He shouted, flailing into the Tomato Sauce Sea like Chedder. "You destructive, den-destroying, devious dragon!"

The dragon didn't even care. It looked like it was taking its time getting to them, even. Luxuriously playing out its kill. Its gaze shifted from Colby, to Cheddar, and back to Colby. Probably because he was shouting lame tongue twister insults at the top of his voice.

That was when Cheddar's ears started to pick out some weird sounds coming from . . . under the sea? Ummph, Chu. Ummph, Ummph, Chu—Chu Ummph, Chu, Ummph, Ummph, Chu!

She hoped she was mistaken, but those noises sounded suspiciously like beat boxing.

Oh no. She groaned inwardly.

She was right. A moment later, a voice accompanied the beat.

"I was ridin' through the currents, just chillin' in the sauce, then I heard some mad alliterative rilin' up a giant boss----" Ummph, Chu. Ummph, Ummph Chu—, "So I came up to the surface and could you guess what I did see? Two little cheesy people and they're flailing on my beach!"

Even the dragon turned its head and blinked at the weird slimy red heads and shoulders sticking out of the tomato sauce. There were three of them. They all had ridiculous oversized sunglasses on, heavy gold chains around their necks, and sideways, tomato-drenched baseball hats perched on their heads. They also held mics, but Cheddar was certain they weren't actually functional: tomato sauce and technology don't mix.

"Stupid Tomato Sauce Sirens," Cheddar grumbled.

The rapping one glared at her and turned to Colby.

"Greeting the boy with the feather-tipped cap, I say your first-rate use of language, it has granted you some favors!"

The terrible rapping and beat boxing continued for a few measures until Colby had pulled the sanity that had drained out while staring at the sirens back through his ears and into his brain.
"You wouldn't know how I could get rid of the Wyvernoni, would you?" he asked them.

"Not only do I know it I believe that we can do it--- believe that we can shoo it--- believe that we can move it!"

She looked at the two dude sirens at her left and right. They nodding into their beat-boxing, and the three of them raised their mics in unison, so they tipped down, instead of up, towards their mouths

"Ripping round the ocean like a record on a table!"

 . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . ."Ripping round, ripping round, record on a table!"

"Rapping like this whirls the sea the words are spilling faster!"

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Rapping and a-whirling and the words are spilling faster!"

"Rocking round the waves the currents spinning like the record. I play the tunes I turn the tables-- DJ the Wyvern's prey away!"

 . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . "DJ, I play, the tunes I say they take away!"

And by that part of the rap, the rush of the whirlpool was so loud Cheddar couldn't make out the words. That, and she was too busy trying to paddle away from the tomato-cyclone to care about the stupid song. But it was no use. The rapping magic of the Sirens was too strong. She and Colby were sucked to the very bottom of the Tomato Sauce Sea.