Ever So Important Quest of the Great Scorch

Chapter Nine

Cheddar's feet hit the ground a few feet from the Sweet Onion Pyramid—interesting, because she had been falling belly-flop style. Teleportation could obviously re-orient her body position. She staggered, but regained her balance. It felt like she'd jumped from a tree branch, which usually jarred her, but didn't do any damage. She took a few deep breaths and pulled out the map again: the Bacon Breastplate had even gotten her to the next pyramid she needed, the one with the staff. And this one didn't smell half as sharp. But it was taller. Not looking forward to climbing another crumbling monument, Cheddar got going.

When she'd gone a sixth of the way, she urged herself to teleport. She looked three steps ahead and imagined herself there. Nothing happened. Next, she stopped walking, stared at a spot six steps ahead, and willed herself there. Nothing.

"Stupid magic," Cheddar complained, and continued marching up the steps.

She was really thirsty at this point, so much so that even the juicy crunch of the onion under her feet was appetizing. Her tongue felt like a dry sponge in her mouth.

"Well, why the shred not?" Cheddar shrugged and tore off a hunk of the next step up, which came even with her shoulder. Eating it would probably even give her strength to climb up there.

Cheddar was surprised when she bit into the onion. It wasn't a dulled spiciness, like she expected. It was sweet, even. Almost like watered-down pineapple. She chewed and swallowed greedily, the juice running down her chin. Then her snack was gone. She licked her lips, and without hesitating, pulled off an even bigger chunk. She could feel her tongue hydrating with every bite. She felt energy seeping back into her veins, and decided it would be a good idea to sit down and wait until she was at one hundred percent again. Who knew what was at the top of this pyramid?

But Cheddar didn't just sit down for a minute. After the first ten, she shrugged off her backpack and laid her head down on it. She just lay there, staring up at the sky, tearing off little bits of onion to eat. She didn't notice the Onionites when they approached her. She was so zoned out that she just let them –or didn't register them—lift her onto a blanket and carry her to the top of pyramid. Their heavy gold earrings and necklaces glittered in the light and against their pearly-white skin, and Cheddar followed the yellow flecks, hypnotized, listening to the jingling of the bracelets around their ankles. Whether or not Cheddar noticed it, the Elder Priestess at the head of their little procession tested each of her steps with a golden Breadstick Staff.

They entered the temple on the top of the pyramid, and Cheddar was taken through the entry hall, down a hallway, and into a curtained room with pilled cushions, trays of sweet onion, and flasks of tomato sauce. The two men carrying her lowered her blanket onto the cushions and left with the other Onionites. Two girls soon came back in, one carrying a tray of gold bands. The second girls clasp them onto Cheddar's neck, ankles, and wrists. When she had finished, Cheddar's ruined blue dress transformed into a white Egyptian-style dress, like the ones the Onionite women and girls wore. However, the Bacon Breast stayed there, an original (and out of place) addition to the outfit.

"Are you thirsty, Strength-Talent?" The first girl, with the one long ponytail, asked.

"Do you desire more to eat?" The second girl, with the hundred braids, added.

Both offered refreshment.

Cheddar squinted up at them, blinking.

"What did you call me?" She murmured, surprised by the irritation blossoming inside her.

"Strength-Talent," They said together smilingly.

"My name is Cheddar," Cheddar corrected them. The title "Strength-Talent" rubbed her the wrong way, like, well, a cheese grater.

"Of course, Strength-Talent," They just wouldn't stop.

But Cheddar still took the proffered goblet of tomato sauce and delicately sliced strips of onion. She swayed sitting up so she could handle the goblet better, but that didn't worry her. She felt happy and comfortable, more so as the refreshments took off the edge from the "Strength-Talent" title. She didn't even realize her backpack and map were missing.