trip switch → l.h.

z e r o

[lower-case intended]

prologue

laura

I awoke to the feeling of sunlight illuminating my face, I opened my eyes and was greeted by the stream of sunlight trickling into my bedroom through the lines that the shades attached to my window created. I sighed and rubbed my eyes carelessly, sitting up to the smell of food, the sounds of sizzling coming from the kitchen making me smile as I knew there was only one person who must be making them.  I looked to my right, the empty spot in my bed making my heart ache, and it stung for a moment. I fell back onto the fluffy white bedsheets, letting myself enjoy the relaxing feeling of serenity for a few moments more.

after a few more moments of mindless relaxing I swung my skinny legs over the edge of my bed, letting my feet sink into the soft black carpet lining my bedroom's floor. I casually walked out of the room that I had grown to recognize as my safe place, not bothering to change out of my largely over sized t-shirt and plane black underwear as I had a feeling that the only other person in my small house was the person whom I was completely and uncontrollably falling for, the very same person who I happened to be sharing my small house with, only to make things worse also the same person who was terribly off-limits to me. what name might happen to accompany this person? non other than Luke Hemmings. not only my roommate, best friend, but also the boy who had helped me pick up all the shattered pieces of my heart, left this way from a complete asshole who I prefer not to speak about named Ashton Irwin. I have hopelessly begun to fall for Luke, as much as I like to deny it i know it's true, why he is off-limits to me? one real bitch named Beth. Luke and Beth have been together for 6 months now and I could not hate one person more than I hate Beth Morgan.

my small feet made a small pattering sound as I walked down the hallway toward the kitchen. as soon as I reached it I plopped myself down onto one of the bar stools that completed the marble counter surrounding the kitchen. he turned around and gave me a sleepy smile, saying a quick 'good morning' I mumbled it back, too caught up in admiring him to give a proper reply. he was wearing a old white t-shirt with the normal black skinny jeans, his hair was scruffy and he still had a lazy smile playing on his lips. he was humming some song to himself as he cooked and I couldn't help but admire how the light from the window hit the side of his face, making him look almost angelic. I didn't come back to reality until I heard him say my name, I looked up to see a plate in front of me, I met his deep blue orbs and smiled at him, thanking him for the delicious looking food.  

he laughed at my stunned state and sat down with his own plate of food across from me. "nice pants" he smirked and I grinned at him, rolling my eyes. we ate our breakfast in a comfortable silence. no words where needed as we enjoyed the food Luke had made. after breakfast Luke declared that he had to spend the day with Beth and left soon after, as for me, I had the day off from school and work. friday's where my favorite. Ash and I always used to spend them at his cozy little apartment, doing nothing and everything. I shook the memories out of my head and felt a tinge of loneliness.

I spent most of the day cleaning out Ash's stuff from my room, stupid little trinkets he had bought me and some of his clothes. it had been five weeks since he left me and I've been trying so hard to block it out, it seems like a lot of time but it still hurts sometimes. if it hadn't been for Luke I don't know what I would have done with myself. as I was cleaning out the closet I stumbled across a small box labeled 'memories', I opened it to find a large stack of photos, most of them containing Ashton and I. looking at them was painful to say the least. along with the photos was one of his favorite sweatshirts, I was always stealing his clothes. it was grey and had a band logo on the front, it still contained the smell of him and I found myself getting choked up.

I must have passed out because the next thing I knew Luke was standing above me, shaking me awake, "Luke?" I asked, confused "hey lau, what happened?" he asked and I looked down, I was laying on the carpeted floor of my closet, holding onto Ash's sweater, the 'memory' box was open and pictures of us where all around me.  "oh, uh I guess I fell asleep." I said, rubbing my forehead. Luke frowned and bent down onto the floor, picking up one of the pictures, in it Ash had his arm around me, grinning and my eyes where closed because I was laughing, it had been taken during summer, we had went to a carnival that had been in town. "you still have these?" Luke asked and I nodded, looking down at all of them, I didn't notice him staring at me until I looked up and met his eyes, they where filled with sorrow and he bit his lip, pulling the black lip ring between his teeth "why don't we get you to bed, yeah?" I nodded again and excepted his extended hand, once I was in bed he sat with me for a while, as he was about to get up and leave I stopped him, grabbing his hand in mine, he looked back at me and raised his eyebrows

I bit my lip and then asked "will you...will you stay with me?" I didn't look at him. I looked down at my bedsheets and mentally cursed myself. I hated being vulnerable around him. I hated him seeing me upset but I couldn't bare being alone at this point. I didn't have to look up for an answer, he crawled back beside me and threw the blanket over both of us, putting his arm around me, bringing me close to him "of course I will" he whispered and kissed my head, although I knew he was only doing these things because he was my friend, I wished it could have been different.

the smell of his cologne engulfed me as I wrapped my arm around his waist, resting my head against his chest I could hear his heart beating, the calming sound lulled me to sleep and for once in a long time, I felt safe again.