trip switch → l.h.

t w o

[lower-case intended]

two

laura 

[ two weeks into the future ]

there was a sinking feeling in my stomach as I left work on december 13th. I tried to push it to the back of my sub-conscious mind and ignore the nagging dread in the pit of my stomach, overwhelming all my other senses, but it was virtually impossible. something was definitely off.

I had walked to work for my evening shift and by the time it was over and it was closing time every rational instinct that my body contained told me not to go home but I pushed through it, calling a cab for myself. I knew it wasn't smart to walk home tonight, and this feeling, for the most part inspired it. 

when I arrived at the building I knew as my home I didn't go inside at first, but stayed outside, looking up at the house as the fluffy snowflakes fell on my face. there was a red car in the drive that I recognized imminently. I could hear yelling inside the house and I closed my eyes.

it was Ashton's car. 

my lungs seemed to tighten up, cutting off the flow of oxygen to my brain and I struggled to regain my breath. the winter jacket I was wearing suddenly felt overwhelmingly tight around my body and for the most part, my neck. the feeling of pain in my heart took no time to spread to the rest of my body, swallowing me up completely. 

the anxiety attack seemed to last forever and I thought it would never stop. I had ended up falling to my knees, coating my black jeans in a blanket of white snow.

I heard something break inside and rushed to my feet, stumbling to the door, swinging it open. I felt my world stop around me as I heard his voice, I hadn't heard it in so long. the yelling seemed to have gotten two octaves louder and I heard a fist connect with someones jaw, then it happened again.

"get the fuck out of our house ashton" Luke spat and I before I could register what was happening Ashton stumbled through the doorway into the porch and laid eyes on me and it seemed as though everything stopped. I held his gaze for what felt like forever. his lip was cut and bleeding

"I should have known you were fucking him." Ashton spat at me and I blinked, I could feel my heart shattering at the sound of his voice and his words. the pain burned through me like fire burning though paper. he shook his head and slammed the door behind him. just like that, he was gone again. no, I couldn't go through that a second time. Luke came through the doorway and saw me standing there, in shock still trying to let everything sink in.

"lau I-" he started but I shook my head, not looking into his eyes, filled with sorrow. he was also bleeding and had a developing bruise on his left eye

"save it luke." I coldly said and walked through the door, back into the cold, unforgiving air of december.

I was caught by Ashton's headlights as he began pulling out of the drive and ran to his window, he rolled it down and looked at me blankly, I could hardly bare looking at him, there were too many memories attached to the pain that was accompanied with him. 

"please" I begged, fresh hot tears streaming down my cheeks

"I can't lose you again. I can't handle it." I said in full honesty, not meeting his eyes until he spoke

"look, I thought..." he paused and shook his head

"hell I don't know what I was thinking coming here but now I can fucking see it. you're in love with him laura." I opened my mouth to protest but he was already gone and now I could see that.