Freely Living Nightmare

Deadly Silence

I walked home from school listening to my music. My phone buzzed and a reminder popped on my front screen. "Take pills..." My depression pills Id have to take for the past two years had somewhat supposed to help me. But I never took them, no need to. Like pills were gonna help my pain. I put the reminder on snooze when I got a phone call. I slid the green box to the right and picked it up.

"Hello?" I asked.

"What the hell happened to us? to forever? To our special kiss?" It was Ethan he was yelling but also out of breath.

"What?!" I yelled back. suddenly a wave of anger washed over me nearly knocking me off my feet.

"Why would you kiss that freak new boy Nile? I thought we had something hence we sharing MY steak sandwich and ME paying for our dinner!" His voice scared me. it was almost as if he were ready to jump out of the phone and strangle me. I wouldn't care if he did. Ive tried before.

"You didnt love me!" I finally let out. my lungs no longer full of water.

"I.Didn't.love.you?" The words slowly came out of him.

"You let Garcia slap me across the face and you walked off with her!"

"Oh I'm sorry did you expect me to pick you back up?! your old enough to walk Terebithia morgerntern!"

I shut down completely. I started to cry. No one ever talked to me this way. Not even my old friends. My parents or my brother. What did I ever do to him?! We never even tried. I turned the phone off and ran home. I got to my front door and slammed it shut behind me.

"Thia?" I heard my parents call. The tears rushed down my face faster than the 9/11 building fell.

I got to my room and ran inside shutting the door behind me. I hit my back towards it and slowly slid down. I held myself together as i'd tried to heaps of times before. I cried and cried and cried. Maybe I was worthless. maybe I didnt deserve love. NOBODY EVER LOVED ME. i was created then destroyed. No God would create such a disappointment like me. Why bother a soul like me. I ripped my sleeves up and looked at my scars. Shaking I cried even more. I hated myself. hated myself. I looked over at my phone missed calls from Ethan. I screamed letting my pain escape my body. Everyone around me was breathing and i was drowning. I was full of hurt and pain and no one could save me. I was a rock at the end of a lake. No one wanted me. No one cared. NO ONE! I cried harder my lungs not being able to breath any longer. I grabbed my razor blades and ripped them across my arm. Several times I cut my wrist. it hurt like hell but I didnt care. If i wasn't feeling pain emotionally then it was physically. The blood dripped onto my carpet matching the other fading stains. I looked out my dark window. At a hateful world full of hateful people. what God would create such hell such a horror. What God? I got up from my floor and grabbed my bandages. Wrapped it around my arm. I cleaned my razor blade and placed it in my cupboard. My phone now had 6 missed calls. One however from an unknown number. If it was freaking Ethan trying to reach me by using an anonymous number i swear! I ring it waiting until Ethan picked up.

"Hello?"

"I swear..." I gulped down my tears. "If you think you can talk to me like that!" I cried even more confronting him. The tears couldnt stop. "I hate you. Im broken. Im breaking. I want to die because of you! You said you loved me! you then tell your friends about me and leave me behind after Garcia slaps me! I fucking hate you Ethan!!" I hung up and threw my phone at my wall. I sobbed and lay on my bed. My parents stood outside my room knowing what was happening inside. I hated this. They hated it. Its funny when you die people finally start to listen. But when you were alive you were another girl with a sharp knife and a short life.

But you cant save a girl who's already died. She's already gone.