Glitterdust (Completed)

8. Habits

Back in my room, I sink down on my chair. A thousand questions go through my mind. I just know Meg was talking about me, although she didn't say my name. I'm not crying, there's just this big lump in my throat that won't go away. I force myself to eat my toast, but it's cold and dry and I almost throw up when I try to swallow it. My carefully prepared lunch ends up in my waste bin. Just being in the same building as she is, makes me feel like I'm choking. I can't stay here and I grab my bag and take the most important books with me. It feels like I flee from my own room, but I don't want to see Meg any time soon.

The air is grey and a slight drizzle is slowly drenching my clothes. I walk to the library, I need to clear my mind. I try to avoid the puddles as much as I can, but I don't really pay attention to my surroundings. All the people I pass, are just some grey blurs, like I'm walking through a city full of ghosts. Megan's hateful words are haunting me. She was the one who made me go to that party, telling me he was all over me, why can't she believe that Dan had asked me on a date? Meg had been my friend since forever, she knows everything about me. How many times did she have a laugh about me behind my back? And what scares me the most, what did she tell to other people?

The library is crowded for once when I get there. I have a hard time finding a spot where I can spread out my notes and my books. As if concentrating wasn't hard enough when only Dan tried to invade my thoughts every now and then, it's even worse now. But I manage to work through a couple of chapters before they close and throw me out.

And then I feel lost, I don't want to go home yet, but I don't have anywhere to go. I don't want to go to a random friend. I can't bear the thought that Meg maybe was talking to one of them, laughing behind my back.

I just keep walking around, the city is a perfect place to hide my loneliness until I come across the lunchroom. The shop itself is closed, but there are lights burning. Jerry isn't really a friend, but at least he's someone I know, so I knock on the window. After a couple of seconds, Jerry's head appears around the kitchen door. His eyes look surprised, and he walks to the door. "Hey Elise, what are you doing here? Come in, it's terrible weather." He beckons me in.

"Thanks. Sorry for ruining your clean floor." My clothes are soaked, waterdrops fall from my hair on the floor and muddy footprints appear where I walk.

Jerry smiles. "Don't worry about it. I still owe you for that delivery last Saturday. Did Dan give you any trouble?" He looks at me with some kind of faint smile around his mouth.

I feel my cheeks burn. "Nope, everything went fine."

He keeps looking intently at me. "The importer of my beans was a bit surprised. I thought he had called me, but he kept telling me he didn't. Do you know anything about it?"

I shake my head. "Sorry Jerry, no clue."

"What about your redhead trouble friend?" Why does he keep prodding? I keep my mouth shut, looking at my shoes.

"I thought so. I suspected she was behind it all, but when she didn't turn up to work today, I knew enough. So what are you doing here?"

I sigh, partly because I don't really want to talk about what happened. I just want to put the memory away and make everything again as it was before I heard Meg talk. But what Jerry said about her not turning up for work might explain the whole situation. This is what she does if she has some semi-serious lover, she kicks everything aside for him, ruthlessly pushing people away, forgetting about her life before she met her new knight in shining armor.

"Okay, this looks serious," Jerry says. "Just sit down, you obviously need some chocolate." He walks off to the kitchen. I grab one of the colorful chairs and sit down to a table. Whenever I come here I just feel a bit happier because of how it looks. Jerry painted all the chairs in different colors. The walls are painted in a summer sky blue, the desk is lemon green and the curtains are bright pink. Just to see this color mashup, makes me feel better already. When Jerry comes back with a steaming cup of his best chocolate I even manage to produce a smile. "Thanks, Jerry."