Be Okay

Part Six

(Three weeks later)

I sat Blythe down on the couch and held a spoon of this mush called baby food in her face. No matter what I tried, I just couldn't get her to open her mouth. There were only so many silly faces I could. She wasn't having any of it.

She probably thought it didn't look very appetizing at all... and she was right, but I didn't want her to believe that. I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. There was a very big chance that I would sorely regret this. In one swift motion, I spooned the mush into my mouth and swallowed it down with a grimace. The only thing worse than the taste of it was the texture.

I forced a clearly fake smile on my face. "Oh my goodness that was so delicious, I wish I had someone I could share this... green beans and formula with."

Still she just stood there staring at me with her head tilted slightly to the side.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Starve then." In my frustration, I ended accidentally spilling some of the formula on my shirt. I groaned aloud.

Out of all things, that was what finally made her giggle. I didn't have time to stay salty though; I saw my opportunity and took it. While she had her mouth open, I fed her some spoonfuls of the mush.

"You so owe me for that one."

I left her on the couch to put the food away and change out of these messy clothes.

People tend to have at least somewhat of an idea of what will happen to them in the future. Will they go on to college? Will they get a job? The reality is that nobody really knows for certain what the future will hold until it finally does happen. Back when I was in high school I did foresee that I would be doing art for a living but I don't think I had ever considered being a father at 25. To be honest, I don't think I ever considered being a father at all. That goes to show how much you change in just a short time.

It has been three weeks and I've slowly been able to adjust to having someone in my life to care for. At first it had been a real struggle; Blythe seemed to cry almost constantly and it felt like I had to change her every hour. There was even a time when I doubted whether adopting this early in my life was a good idea.

Despite all those things, however, Blythe was actually the cutest thing. When she wasn't wailing or making a mess of herself, she was almost always giggling; at what joke, I don't know. So it was pretty much impossible for me to ever to be angry or annoyed with her for too long.

I don't know why I did this, but after I changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants, I went into the bathroom and stood on the scale. It seemed to call to me. I held my breath in anticipation. I sighed sadly when I saw the three-digit number. I don't know what I was expecting to see.

I got angry at myself. Instead having a self-pity fest, why don't I just do something about it? Exercise couldn't hurt.

I thought about actually going out for a jog but... I couldn't leave Blythe alone in this place. I couldn't take her with me, could I? I thought about it. It could actually be quite the workout, me pushing Blythe along in the stroller while I jogged through the town. I bet I wouldn't even be going too fast anyway, especially not with how out of shape I was.

That settled it. I tied on some sneakers and took the stroller from my closet. I dressed Blythe in a striped long sleeve shirt and overalls and strapped her into the stroller.

I planned on jogging to the library and back since that was a fair distance. Once outside, I started off by walking a little as a warm up. Also because I was kind of insecure since there would be random pedestrians watching me and probably judging me.