I watched the woman I held in my arms. She was so brave, so strong. To have been going through this for years and just went through it again, yet she sleeps with a smile on her face no matter that her body has been beaten and used. This was why I looked up to her. She was always strong for the ones she loved, she never let her kids catch on even on her worst days. She smiled and kissed Bataar in front of them if she had too, and I know that was worse than anything he could've done or said. I don't think that her kids knew, even know what kind of person their brother and father was. I never wanted them to find out, and neither did she. But I had a feeling they would soon enough. They all went to Air Temple Island and Republic City. I'd been in prison for the last two years so of course I was still here, and I'd never leave Suyin. I loved her, and I knew that now more than ever. I laid her down gently on the bed and got up. I had on a button up plaid shirt and wore no pants, my hair in a kind of sexy mess. I sighed, looking at all my scars. How could she, one as beautiful as her love such a drawn on woman like me. I tipped my head, looking down at her. She had scars too, but in a way they made her look stronger. In the events that it got too much I'd often find her in dark rooms with a knife pressed to her wrists. I never once told her to stop, it wasn't that easy. Instead I'd take care of her cuts and stay with her till the rush of her emotions went away. I ran my fingers through my long tangled dark hair. The events of my own past starting to wash over me and I heard Bataar's voice in my head, mocking me, taunting me. I started backing up against the wall and knocked over a vase which shattered on the ground and made me jump. My breathing started to pick up as I felt tears dripping down my cheeks. I could faintly see Suyin in the background sitting up and coming towards me. I felt my body shake and I couldn't focus on what she was saying, she was kneeling in front of me, but I couldn't hear her, could only see her. She took my hand and put it against her chest. I felt her heart beat. It was slow and calm as she was speaking. I focused on the way it beat, how even and calm. She pulled me close to her, cradling me on her lap. I Nuzzled my face into her neck and sniffed as the world started to come back. She stroke my hair and was singing to me. Her voice was beautiful, and I calmed down enough to get myself relaxed. I sighed, my breathing a little shaky and looked up at Suyin. She brushed my hair back gently and tucked it behind my ear, then continued to stroke my cheek with her warm soft hand.
"Are you alright Kuvira?" Her green eyes locked on mine. "Did someone hurt you?"
I shook my head and sniffed again, wiping my eyes.
"No...I just....was remembering prison....and Bataar...all they've done to you..."
I looked down at the floor and felt her hands touch the sides of my face and tilt my head up to look at her.
"What happened to us will never go away, and we'll never forget it. But if you ever start feeling scared, tell me and I will hold you until the feeling passes. I know what it feels like to not have anyone, I had no one for two years. It was scary, and I often stayed in that dark room, sometimes I lost myself and went crazy..."
I frowned at that and Nuzzled her. She Nuzzled me back and smiled a little bit, picking me up and taking me back to bed. She held me gently and I laid my head on her chest, listening to her heart beat. It was the most beautiful and comforting sound I'd heard in a long time, other than her voice. Her hand rubbed in comforting circles along my back and she hummed quietly until I was asleep. I know she wouldn't sleep, so when I woke back up a few hours later, I made her sleep. I Wouldn't sleep unless she was sleeping too. She needed rest more than I did. So when I knew she was asleep I slept again.
She slept a lot longer than me, and woke up in my arms. She yawned and smiled, looking at me. I couldn't help but smile back. Her eyes drifted to look at my shirt, which was unbuttoned and almost showed my chest. I caught her staring and she blushed, looking away. I snickered at that, I'd never seen her look at me in that way. She gave an embarrassed groan and I laughed. She pushed at me softly and I Buttoned up my shirt. I wasn't ready for anything like that with her. And I knew she wasn't either. I got up off the bed and she followed me to the kitchen, making breakfast and we sat at the table and ate, drinking coffee. Well, I was drinking coffee and she stole it from me. I whined jokingly
"Hey I worked hard for that, I pushed the button and everything."
She snickered. "Oh you poor baby."
I rolled my eyes but I was smirking. This was another reason why I was so drawn to her, She had that joking sense of humor Bataar never had. She was different in every way. I watched as she threw her long dark hair into a messy pony tail, but it looked good on her. It was a change, especially after all this time she'd had short hair. I think I liked it better long. She was in just a chest wrap and shorts, and I could see her defined muscle. She trained a lot with her daughter and sons. She always wanted them to be able to defend themselves if they needed to. She trained me too. She was one of the best Earth benders, besides her mom. Considering her mom was Toph Beifong. Yeah I know, totally kick was family and I was right in the middle of it. Just my luck huh? She caught me watching her and was smirking. Ah crap, now I was in for something. She leaned across the table and was so close to my face.
"Instead of staring, you could be touching you know. Don't have to be shy."
I blushed darkly and stuttered with my words.
"I-I don't know that I'm ready for that..."
She leaned back and nodded, she didn't look disappointed or hurt, more like she completely understood where I was coming from. Maybe eventually I would show my love for her but it wasn't yet, and after everything that happened I wasn't ready. I really did love her, but not enough to show her myself. If this was all some kind of game, she'd know all my fears and weaknesses.
I was wary around her for awhile, and she was a little sad about it. I bit my lip, knowing I was making her feel bad. But I couldn't take any chances.
"You can leave, if you want you know. You don't have to stay here with me."
I looked up at her, her eyes were kind of sad, but they were understanding. I shook my head.
"I want to stay with you Suyin, I'm sorry that I've been so distant but it's just so hard to get over everything."
"I understand where you're coming from, believe me I do. I just thought that maybe it'd help us forget."
"Sex isn't going to fix anything. It doesn't take away memories and it doesn't take away the pain."
She looked taken aback and kind of hurt by what I had said and I instantly regretted It.
"It wasn't just because I wanted to forget Kuvira I have feelings for you."
"How could you possibly have feelings for me when it's only been a couple of weeks? Love like that takes time."
"I've known you your whole life Kuvira, not just a couple of weeks."
I sighed through my nose loudly.
"I don't know what you want me to do for you."
"I just want you to act like you care....you've...been so distant that I thought maybe I'd done something wrong."
She sniffed, and I looked up to see that she was crying.
"I-....I just can't lose you too, you're all I have left and I can't be alone again."
Now I felt like an ass. The fact that I had made her cry made it worse. I got up and walked to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She was tense in my arms at first but slowly leaned into me and stopped crying.
"I'm sorry....I...didn't mean to make you cry or feel that way..."
"Its okay, Kuvira. It's going to be okay."
That time, when she said that it was okay, I believed her.
