selective mutism • ai

•2•

ring!

the bell rings. ms. cox jerks in her seat. she takes something in her hand and mashes it against the side of her desk. she's probably extinguishing the blunt.

she removes her sunglasses and gets up from her seat. heavy dark bags circle her eyes. i'm surprised they aren't dragging her down. her eyes are bloodshot. she's definitely high.

she takes the movie off with the push of a button. i quickly push my book and pen into my bag. everyone else gets up and rushes out of the room. i stay behind and wait for the room to clear.

once the room clears i quietly walk up to the door and i hear behind me, "i know you wrote that down."

i smirk and walk into the hall. people rush by to get to their classes. to be honest, our halls have gotten more rushed ever since the principal said that you only have 3 minutes to get to your next class.

i see a couple of people making out against their lockers. i see spitballs being spit onto the ceiling. i quickly rush to my locker trying to escape the chaos in the hallway.

a girl slams into me and i fall back onto the floor. a couple of my pens fall from my pocket onto the floor. the girl gasps and leans down to pick up my pens.

"i'm so sorry. are you okay? do you need anything? i'll be more than happy to help."

she lightly smiles in my face. i give her a side smile. it was sort of a frown.

she hands me my pens and i grab them from her hands. i can tell she's waiting for me to answer. i don't say anything. i shove the pens back in my bag and i stand up.

"did you hear me? i'm sorry. i'm probably speaking too low again. damn me."

she stamps her foot on the ground jokingly and touches my shoulder. i step back. i don't want to be in her presence. i don't want to talk to her (well, i can't talk).

"oh, sorry. am i being annoying? people say that i am annoying. it sucks, but whatever. i'm me."

i shake my head obviously lying. i try to push past her but she sticks her hand out.

"i'm lacey. what's your name? i was hoping we could be friends."

i shake her hand and try to push past her again. my three minutes is almost up and i need to go to trigonometry.

"hello? oh, i'm sorry. you're one of the shy kids in this school."

i shrug and nod at her. she just doesn't understand that i don't want to be next to her.

i once again try to push past her and it works. i keep walking and i don't look back.

"okay. i'll see you around."

i hold up a hand signaling my goodbye. i don't look back. i walk into my next classroom while the late bell rings.

"irwin! late pass!"

i pick up the late pass from ms. suarez, my trigonometry teacher, and walk to my seat in the back of the room near the windows.

ms. suarez tells us to solve the problem of the day on the board. i pull out my math notebook and copy down the problem but i don't solve it.

i look at my late pass and can't help but to get mad. if that lacey girl didn't get in my way i wouldn't of gotten this. i rip up my pass and throw the shreds out the window.

i see ms. suarez take a vodka bottle and pour some into her coffee. i smirk and pull out my book to write it down. grey goose she has some good taste.