Just One Look // Cameron Dallas

Chapter 18

I woke up to to all of the guys and Nash coming in. "Shh he needs some rest." I told them. They all nodded and came over to hug me. "Paige we are always here for you." Taylor said.

"Thanks Tay." I replied. These guys were like my family now. They are all that I have now.Im so thankful I'm still alive after all of this.

"How are you holding up?"Shelby asked me. "Ehh."I said shrugging my shoulders. "If you need anything just text me."Shelby said smiling. I cracked a smile but inside I was dying.

"Are you guys hungry?" Jack J said. "Starving."Taylor replied and everyone laughed. "I'm serious I could eat my hand."Taylor said moving his hand around.

"You coming?" Nash asked me. "I think I'm just going to stay here with Cameron for a little longer.Dont worry about me." I told Nash. "I'll try."He said walking out the door with the rest of the guys.

I looked down at Cameron and at his wrists. All I saw was a broken boy. What am I saying? I'm broken too. I'm not happy. I'm miserable.

The doctor said that Cameron could leave whenever he wanted too but he had to go to therapy.

They told me I should try therapy too. I wasn't too happy about it.I hate talking to a random stranger about my problems when they have no idea what I'm going through.

Cameron was still sleeping so I started to get up and leave him some space. "Please don't go." Cameron said grabbing my arm.

"Okay I won't." I said kissing his head. "Are you ready to go home?" I asked. He nodded and I went to go sign some papers so we could both leave. Cameron's mom was all the way in another state so she couldn't be here.

I went back in to get Cam and he was sitting at the end of the hospital bed with his head down. "I fucked up." He said shaking his head. "Cam everyone makes mistakes." I said sitting down beside him rubbing his back.

"I need help Paige."He said looking up at me. "I know babe." I said. "What am I going to tell all my fans? I haven't told them about us or anything. I haven't even been active.They are going to hate me." He said crying.

"Shh Cam no they are not."I said trying to comfort him. "You want to come over?" I asked him. He nodded and then Taylor drove us home.

I walked into my house and the first thing I saw was Zacs pink hat that he always wore. I picked it up and just started at it. It was going to be so hard to go through all of his stuff. I am not ready yet. It just doesn't seem real.

I fell onto the floor crying. "Babe come here." Cameron said picking me up and rubbing my hair. "Cameron I can't do this. He was the best big brother anyone could ask for. And now he's gone and he's never coming back." I said bawling my eyes out.

"Paige he will always be here. He may not be here physically but he will always be in your heart. He loves you so much. He always bragged about you when we hung out. You were everything to him too." Cam said.

I finally calmed down and said "I feel disgusting I'm going to go take a shower." I said standing up. "Can I join?" Cam asked. I nodded and grabbed his hand and we went upstairs.

I slowly took of my clothes in front of cam and he was biting his bottom lip. I turned on the water and stepped in. I have to admit it felt really good.

Cameron stepped in right after me. I washed my hair and I grabbed my wash rag. I wetted it and put soap on it and handed it to Cameron. He smirked and started to wash me.

After he started to wash me I then began to wash him. It was so hard to not look down at that area if you know what I mean.

"Ow." He flinched as the water ran down his arms. "Can I see?" I asked him. He nodded and I looked down at his wrists. There were so many scars already there so he's done it before.

He started crying. "Baby there's no reason to be ashamed." I said looking up at him. He looked me in the eye and pinned me back against the wall and started kissing me.

I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. "God I missed this so much." He said in my ear and started sucking on my neck. I let out a little moan and he laughed.

I stopped him before things went too far. We got out of the shower and I went in my room and put on some sweats and my Victoria secret sports bra.

Cameron needed something to wear so I went into Zacs room. It was a mess like always. I went through his drawers and found a Tshirt and some sweat pants. They smelled just like him.

I started to tear up but then I blinked back the tears. I couldn't cry anymore. I just couldn't. I walked out of his room and shut his door. I walked into my room and handed Cameron the clothes.

"I hope this is okay." I said. "Are you sure?" He asked me. I nodded and he got dressed and then we just layed on my bed and cuddled. I don't know if this means we are back together or what. But we have a lot to still work out.If it's meant to be it will be but if not I don't know what we will do.