Notes:
This chapter was heavily inspired by Robert Pattinson's "Never Think" (as in i listened to it on repeat while writing this).
Chapter Text
000
Louis is able to hold off on texting Harry the entire weekend, but when Monday comes around and he knows Harry is back on campus, he can't stop himself. The message is short and careful, just asking how he is. Louis cringes as soon as he sends it, because how is he expecting Harry to even answer that? It seems like Harry doesn't know either, because Louis never receives a response.
The week passes slowly after that. Louis drags in the hallways at school in the hopes of seeing Harry in between his classes. He never does.
He sees Eleanor plenty though. Where she was just a sparse presence in his life before, she seems to be everywhere he turns now, and always eerily in high spirits. She walks him to class almost every day of the week, chattering on happily about one thing or the other - things Louis is sure he used to be interested in once upon a time, but now can barely pretend to listen to.
He finds himself glancing at her abdomen from time to time, trying to discern if there's any growth there since the last time he saw her. Sometimes he thinks there is, but then she'll turn in a particular way and it'll be gone. She's still so tiny, flat. Louis knows it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Some girls don't show until well into their second trimester (he had to read something while he was in the waiting room), but it allows him to pretend for a few minutes that this isn't actually happening.
"So, Dani is going to bring me to my appointment today, and then we're coming to the game tonight."
"Wait, what?"
Eleanor eyes him suspiciously, and then repeats herself. "I said you don't have to drive me to Doctor Stenrick's today. I know you've got your game. So Dani is taking me."
"Oh," he says distractedly. "Yeah, alright."
There's a tiny crease between her brows, but instead of letting herself look annoyed, she forces a smile before trotting off. "See you, Lou."
000
It's an hour before their game and Louis feels anxious. Not in a good way, either. Eleanor won't stop texting him and every time his phone vibrates he feels a little sick. He's long since given up on hearing from Harry. He suddenly wishes Niall never gave him the phone in the first place. At least before, he could pretend that the lack of communication between them was because he didn't have his mobile, and not because Harry didn't want to talk to him.
Louis decides to go to the locker rooms early to clear his head. Niall, Liam and Zayn have been hovering lately (to put it nicely) and Louis just needs a minute alone to think.
When he parks, he takes his phone out of his pocket and turns it face down in the passengers seat. He doesn't want to see Eleanor's texts anymore, or the missed calls from his friends, and mostly, he can't stand the sight of the wall of unanswered messages he's sent to Harry. Leaving his phone in the car doesn't fix the ache in his chest, but it helps.
The locker room is empty when he gets there and he breathes a sigh of relief. He changes in silence and tries to focus on preparing himself for the match later. He still gets nervous before games, even now, and he knows it's a moot point, but he wishes Harry were here. His voice has always had a strange way of calming Louis when he's keyed up. He's not here though. And Louis realizes that he doesn't know the next time he'll be alone with Harry again, if ever. Harry's done a pretty good job of making sure it hasn't happened again since that night in Louis' bedroom.
