Harry's not there when Louis wakes up the second time that morning. No one is. And Louis gets it, he does, but it doesn't make it any easier to swallow.
000
His classes go by in a haze. It's his first day back in a week so it's hard to pay attention, especially while his mind is plagued with thoughts he can't get rid of. He wishes his professor's lecture on Sophocles was enough to make him stop thinking about Harry and how he wishes he knew where they stood right now; about Liam and Zayn and Niall and what they think about all this - this big huge secret that Louis finally let slip through his fingers.
It feels different than he thought it would, having it out there. Maybe it's because he's got something bigger to worry about now, but somehow his friends knowing that he's involved with another boy doesn't seem like such a huge deal anymore. And besides, he thinks (hopes) things can't get much worse than they already are anyway.
The hall is crowded with people when he leaves World Lit, finally done with lectures for the day. His pocket burns where his phone would usually be, waiting for a text from Harry asking what their plans are since they're both off until football practice later that afternoon. There's no message though, and Louis doesn't know if there would be even if his phone wasn't lying in pieces on his night table at home.
He's almost to the double doors at the end of the hall when he sees Harry round the corner slowly, eyes cast down until he spots Louis a few meters away. He stops walking, eyes softening the tiniest bit. He looks how Louis feels at the moment - exhausted, lost, and maybe like he wants to push through the people around them and wrap himself around Louis.
He's hesitating though, fighting with himself, and Louis can only stand there, frozen, waiting for Harry to decide.
He watches him take a step forward before halting again, eyes focusing somewhere behind Louis before his mouth turns down into a severe frown, which Louis doesn't understand until he feels a small hand on his shoulder.
He swings around to see what has Harry so upset, and finds Eleanor there, an unreadable look on her face.
"Can we talk?" she asks hopefully.
Louis looks back to Harry quickly but is met only with a sea of strangers filling the gap where he stood. He barely catches sight of Harry's back as he practically runs out of the doors at the end of the hall.
Louis' eyes shut briefly before he turns back to Eleanor and gives a small, resigned nod.
000
Harry's thoughts are still going haywire when he shows up at practice that day. Niall had come over as soon as Harry called him when he left the school earlier. The feeling in Harry's chest when he saw Louis with Eleanor in the hall was a shock. He hadn't expected it to hurt that much, or feel like such a giant weight had been dropped inside his ribcage. He'd felt so out of sorts that he'd called Niall without even thinking about it.
He had been so close, too. Close to going to Louis and dragging him back to the complex and just...being with him. Talking to him, telling him that he doesn't care what Louis thinks is best for him, he's not leaving.
Seeing Louis' ex reminded him of just how naive he's being.
Because that's how it's going to be, he realizes. No matter how sure he is that Louis is his, he knows a piece of him will now always belong to someone else, too. And he never wants to have to make Louis choose. Because he knows that no matter how much Louis cares about him, he'll eventually have to. And Harry never wants to be the one that Louis doesn't pick, doesn't know if he could survive it again.
