No no no! Not now! Not today! The last time my mother ever took me to school was 2 years ago, the day my sister died. Maybe today will be one of her better days. I mean shes picking me up from school.
"Hey, i was hopin' you could lend me some cash. If you want groceries in the fridge, you should give some." Nope.
"Sure mom", i say handing her $50. Should've known better, my mom doesn't give a shit. She's probably gonna spend half of it on liquor.
sighing deeply, i take the short cut path back home, and jump through the window. (My mom took away my "key rights"). I pore myself a glass of cheap wine, and start blogging. Right around the time my sister died, i started a secret blog about depression. Todays entry: Happy Birthday?
I guess I shouldn't expect alot today, especially not from my mother. But a happy birthday would've been nice. perhaps all that alcohal finally got to her head :/
After a few hours i finished my entry and several glasses of wine, and i was sailing on a pretty decent buzz, untl,"what the fuck do you think you're doing?! I didn't buy that wine so some underaged brat could sip away half of it! Newsflash little girl, wine doesnt make your love handles go away!"
I don't why i did, but I talked back,"don't call me a little girl! Today is actually my 16th birthday!"
"Oh, so you think that because its your 'sweet 16' you can waste away my money?! Maybe you didn't know this honey, but you were a mistake!" Dumbfounded by this remark, all I could was just sit and stare. "Yep. Your father and I already had a perfect little family, with our one perfect daughter, then you came along and ruined everything. And now Tori's gone and I'm stuck with your whiny ass!"
With tears stinging my eyes, I muster up the few words i can and say,"fuck you."
It takes me a few seconds to register what just happened. But the stinging on my cheek made me realize: my mother just slapped me. Over all the years of her bitching and nagging, she never once laid a hand on me. Until now.
It took all the strength in my body to not cry in front of her. Never, ever, let this bitch see you cry. I stormed off to my bedroom, slammed the door shut, then blasted Bring Me The Horizon. Never in my whole life have I felt so alone, so betrayed, so... Weak.
Letting the tears now flow freely, I make my way to the bathroom. While looking in the mirror, i see that little girl from 2 years ago. Confused and lost. I hate this. I open the medicine cabinet in search of my makeup remover, when i come across a bottle of painkillers. I would usually just skim over it and keep on searching, but this time an unfamiliar voice went off in my head... 1 will make the pain go away, 2 will make you forget, 3 will make us sail...
I dont know where that idea came from, but in some twisted way, i agreed with it. I popped 1 pill, pain slowly started slipping away. 2nd pill, the nerves and stress receeded with it. 3rd pill, I'm gone.
Forgetting about my makeup, i stumble into my bedroom and jump into bed. for some reason I'm really sleepy now and I some how manage to start giggling. Going over the days events in my head, i think to myself, happy sweet 16...
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Sorry, short chapter, no edit so sorry for any and all mistakes. Please comment and vote and i will update soon:)
-Blu Demonte
