Reasons Why

Chapter Twelve

They drank several beers in virtual silence before either of them tried to break the atmosphere. Chloe was quiet, self contained, but Phil could sense calmness and hoped that this delve into the past hadn't caused a return of the fragility that saw her miss Owen's funeral. He'd promised her parents he'd try to help her, bring her through this, the thought of sending her back in a worse place was when she'd arrived.

After sinking her second pint she turned to him, "you were right bro. It does feel a little easier now I've told you."

Phil nodded, not wanting to blow this, "a problem shared is a problem halved, or so goes the saying. I've always agreed with that."

He signalled to the barman and ordered them a repeat of their drinks, then turned to her, "you gonna throw up if you keep at this pace?"

Chloe nodded, "hope so!" When his eyes narrowed, she added with a grin, "If Owen was here now, that is EXACTLY what he would do. From now on I'll think about his reaction to things. I might start living more!"           

                “What about your reaction to things? What would Chloe have done two years ago if she was here with no strings, no commitment?”

She pondered his question for a moment, “the student me loved a laugh. But since I graduated I think I’ve always been the serious conscientious one, Mandy my friend gets SO frustrated with me for that. She remembers me in Uni when I wasn’t like that. But then Owen always ragged me for being a goody-goody. I always hated getting into trouble, so rather than deal with it, I used to never let it happen. Student Chloe would have painted Victoria a shade of red they’d never forget without breaking the law. The junior lawyer Chloe would enjoy the time without work. Walking, smiling and being nice to everyone. The Chloe you have is somewhere in between!”

He laughed, “Dad said you were always the sensitive one, crying if Owen was in trouble, saving injured birds, crying at Lassie!" When she laughed he added, "I like every Chloe, but I’m thinking that getting a bit more of the student one back would help you.”

Chloe sighed, “and where did fun loving partying get Owen? I think the cautious side wins through sometimes. I can never embrace his ways completely.”

Phil nodded, the growth in her confidence as each day passed was great to see, and more than enough to make him happy.

Two hours later they'd talked out their issues, their memories and compared thoughts on Owen, and were sat debating the merits of UK comedy. Phil seemed to rue not knowing about his father until he was gone twenty, and had this kind of lust over a British legacy, eighties comedy, punk music and even soap operas. So she was trying to understand why he couldn't appreciate the dozens of TV channels he had in his home that all constantly played TV shows that her friends at home would kill each other to watch. Instead he preferred DVD's of Only Fools and Horses and The Vicar of Dibley. 

                "Shall we go? It's late...I'm working tomorrow, you've got two kids to run you up the wall..."

                "One for the road?" She laughed as she waved to the barman.

The next morning she'd regretted her exuberance but she'd slept better than she had in a long time. Since being in Canada her nightmares had stopped, Owen's bruised, damaged face didn't appear in the middle of the night, and she didn't see the bloodied street outside her home.  And since talking to Phil, confessing her role in Owen's end, well she'd slept like a log. And knew she would have even without the several pints she'd consumed.