A String of Missed Calls

August 20, 2015

3:00 AM:
Sobs hysterically. "Sean you're such a fucking ass. Call me please I'm sorry. So so so so so so so so sorry. You didn't go to church but you believe in God and you always said He is all forgiving. He'd forgive me, why can't you? It's unfair Goddamn it! I hate you Sean. No I don't, I'm just upset and drunk and stupid and broken and lonely and God I miss you Sean. I miss your tan leathery arms touching me. Making me feel secure in this crazy world. I miss your chapped pink lips kissing me. I miss you trying to teach me how to play Pokéball because despite the fact that you let your hair grow and then burned it with bleach and dye and pierced your left eyebrow and got ink permanently injected into your skin you couldn't bare part with your cards and so you kept them concealed inside Doc Marten shoe boxes under your bed because no one dare go under that mess. I'm the only one you told that too right? Unless there are other people who you trusted before me but if I recall correctly you did mention I was the only one and that was the day YOU realized you were in love with me. Selena Genevieve Rosales. You were- hopefully still are- in love with a cheerleader or ex cheerleader and debate captain. A girl who partied with upperclassmen and idly watched by as people were bullied for the sake of petty laughs. But I'm not that person anymore or maybe I am since you still won't talk to me. Sean you changed me. I saw how awful of a person I was and I decided to change and I did. I changed... for... y-"

5:23 PM:
"Sorry about last night I was rambling and then I was out like a light. I'll make it short and simple... If you have heard these messages and want to meet in public meet me where we had our first fight. I'll be waiting. I'm not sure for how long but I will be. Bye Sean.

9:48 PM:
Long sigh. "So you didn't show up at the bookstore. The Labyrinth Above the Last Bookstore. Or maybe you forgot about out first fight? Maybe you went somewhere else? The first time we fought it was a chilly day and it was snowing. We entered and were by the cozy comic book nook. You sat on a beanbag playing with the pom pom of my beanie while I sat by your legs flipping through the latest issue of the Walking Dead. You were telling me about how we would go grab a cup of coffee or pho after this when this girl stepped on my outstretched legs. She covered her face and apologized but I quickly got up and barked in her face claiming she had done it on purpose. I swore like a sailor and the girl was mortified and offended that tears swelled in her eyes. You quickly intercepted and you were on her side trying to comfort her and I got even more mad claiming you loved her more than me or that you were cheating on me with her and the squabble that was between me and that girl became one for you and I. I told you to stick the coffee and pho date up where the sun don't shine and you told me to call you when I stopped acting childish and you stormed off leaving me alone and embarrassed. We didn't talk for an entire week and a half. I knew you couldn't stand not talking to me as much as I couldn't stand not talking to you, but I was clearly in the wrong and had to apologize and I did. I apologized whole heartedly and I even got us tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys. What I don't seem to understand is that here we are again not talking, and for seventeen days, I am in the wrong, but I've apologized whole heartedly and nothing. If you want tickets to see the Arctic Monkeys you have to call me back and let me explain myself. Or for forgiveness do I have to go with a bigger band? Maybe Fall Out Boy? Panic! At the Disco? Please call me and let me know.