Avoiding Luhan

e l e v e n

This is now or never, Sehun thought once more. After gathering all his courage, he wanted to ask Lu Han a question he has been longing to voice out. And this time, he decided that he will not withdraw again.

Sehun inched closer to Lu Han. They were at his bed in their own dormitory room, doing their Literature project. Lu Han moved the schedule to Friday instead of Tuesday, because of his busy schedules which usually consisted of soccer practices and violin classes.

He put aside all the books and pens that were blocking his way, and tapped Lu Han on the shoulder, because he was so busy playing some games on his phone.

The older turned around and faced Sehun with a questioning look. "Yes, xiao di?"

Sehun mentally cringed at the nickname Lu Han gave him. It isn't because he didn't like it. No. Any nickname Lu Han would give, he will cherish. But this, this has been going on for so long now.

How long will he be Lu Han's mere little brother?  How long will their unofficial relationship last?

Sehun wanted Lu Han for so long now. He wanted Lu Han not for just as a hyung, or a classmate or a dorm mate. He wanted Lu Han to be so much more in his life.

"Ge," Sehun started, not knowing how he would deliver his thoughts properly. While Lu Han was eagerly anticipating the younger one's next statement.

"Lu Han-ge," he said, this time using the Chinese boy's full name. Then he breathed deeply, before continuing. He held Lu Han's hands in his own hands, intertwining the fingers, feeling the spaces between them and how perfect they were meant for holding hands.

"What am I to you?"

Lu Han was startled. For seconds, he didn't know what to reply. He didn't withdrew his hands either. So he just massaged Sehun's palms and looked at him in the eye.

"What am I to you?" Sehun repeated, this time louder and more confident. "Am I just a mere little brother to you? Is that the reason why you treat me like a brother? Or am I just something for you to play with if you get bored? Like a useless play thing?"

The brunet loudly sighed and extricated his hands from the blond's shaking ones. He was about to say something, but he hesitated and instead kept silent.

"Now what? You're not even going to answer me? After making me hope so much..." Sehun wanted to cry. But he held the tears for as long as he could. He already cried for countless times, and it was all because of Lu Han. Now he isn't going to be vulnerable again.

"Don't cry, Sehun-ah. I don't like it when you cry so don't even think about crying."

"The only reason as to why I cry is you." Sehun whispered, still holding back tears. His voice is already shaking, but he promised to himself that he will never cry in front of Lu Han.

He doesn't want to be weak anymore.
He's tired of being this weak.

"Then what can I do to stop you from feeling like this?"

Sehun was desperate.

"Just... love me right."

Lu Han gently pushed Sehun to the bed and pinned his arms to the head board. Then he started to kiss Sehun's neck and his hands freely roamed around the Korean's body.

Sehun tilted his head to the side, allowing Lu Han to kiss him more and lick his white, untainted neck. Every contact with Lu Han's lips made him moan softly, and he closed his eyes to feel more of the older boy. Lu Han sucked on Sehun's collarbone so harshly, that he was sure tomorrow red marks will adorn his neck.