Learning to cope

Open up

Again I'm sitting here, looking at the walls trying to avoid eye contact with the schools counselor. I'm here only because my parents think that I'm depressed . They have always thought that, but now it's different. I'm different. Before my grandpa died I was a younger, happier person, but now he's gone and i find myself in my room writing a lot. That's how I detox my emotions. I pour myself into my story's.  So my parents decided that I would start having sessions again during lunch. I've been counseled before. It was when my uncle died and my mom found the body. It was depressing and sad but I was young and didn't really know how to deal with death. Now I'm being forced against my will to go back into these damn sessions. They don't get it that I don't want to talk to some teacher about my grandpa dying I just want to be left alone. Also I hate it that everybody is trying to treat me different. They keep saying "oh I'm so sorry for your loss!" It's like no you aren't, you didn't even know him! It was okay though because I didn't have to tell anybody at school what happened, I could just be treated like a human being and not some magic 8 ball that you ask questions. Then my parents got involved, they told my teacher and the principle everything and that's why I'm here. I'm here because my parents where trying to make up for never being around by putting me into counseling. How sweet of them...they put me through HELL because every time I turn around my teachers are announcing my life's story to the class.
"Hey, did you hear me? Sabrina?" Said Mrs.D. She was pretty cool, I guess. I've know her for the last year of my high school life and from that I know she's nice and she won't judge you. So why was I so embarrassed to go the the one on one meetings, well it's not exactly how you want to spend your junior year. Your supposed to start being an adult not some kid who has to be talked to three times a week about her dead relatives and her social status in school.   "What?" I asked in a sort of whisper yell not able to recall what she said.
"Now Sabrina, you know how this works and if you don't listen then these sessions won't help you." I just nodded and then looked at my hands in my lap. I felt bad that she has to waste her time talking to me and I wasn't even listening to her. "Okay, sorry." I mumbled, just loud enough she could hear me but not loud enough to draw attention to myself.
"Now I have something that I need to talk to you about, and you might not like it. So don't say anything until I'm done. Okay?" I nodded quickly which made her laugh a little. "Thank you. So I know that you are aware of how smart you are, so as your guidance counselor I'm going to set you up as a tutor. Partially because it will give you something to do but also too give you some extra college credits." She just looked at me and I didn't know if I was supposed to talk yet so I just nodded again. "You can talk now Sabrina."
"Oh, okay. So who would I be tutoring then?"
"Good question, here one second."
She thumbed through her papers while she lightly hummed. "Here it is. Okay,
You will be tutoring...Lizzie."her eyes shot up and looked at the door, somebody was about to walk in. It was Tate Mitchell, the number one quarter back at the school and the guy that I've liked since I first met him in 9th grade.

NOTE:
I'm sorry for how short it is but I will be trying to make the chapters longer.
Thnx for reading,
LOVE YA~kk