Liam's Letters • Part 2

4

Sébastien disappeared.

Again.
She didn't hear from him. She again started to worry about him. Two days, three days, four days. She found herself thinking about him all the time. She found herself reminiscing about all the times that they spent together in the past. She had been so grateful to have him with her, in Botswana. She was so grateful for all that he was, all that he did for her. She kept on going over and over in her mind, the letter that Gareth wrote to Sébastien. About the baby. His inner most feelings. How difficult that must have been for him. She started to have a change of heart. She started to examine what was in the letter more thoroughly, more calmly.
She went into Gareth's 'Writing Room' and sat in his old wrinkled leather chair at the desk, touching everything reverently with her soft hands, "Imagine, my husband sat at this desk, and wrote that letter, to Sébastien. Imagine, what he must have been thinking, what he knew. He knew he was going to die. He thought only of me. He wanted me to be protected. He wanted me to be loved. He was giving me permission, in his heart, to go on, to love again. He loved his baby already. He wanted her to have a daddy. That is ultimate selflessness. It must have been so difficult for him to imagine me with someone else. It must have been such a difficult letter to write. Sébastien would think that too. Man to man, what did they think? Gareth bestowed his most precious two people to someone else to be loved and cherished and protected."

Speaking out loud to herself. She could hear her own voice. Tears sprung up in her eyes.

All of a sudden her heart swelled with love and gratitude for both Gareth and Sébastien. What man would accept another man's wife and baby, unconditionally? What man whose love had been rejected would come back again? What man would accept the terms of an agreement with a man that has passed away? Sébastien is spectacular. How could she have two in one life time? Two men that loved her that much? How is that possible?
This, all so overwhelming to her. Difficult to absorb. It would take time.
Time, not on her side, at the moment. She was going to start showing soon. Good thing this was her first baby. The muscles were still strong and she could hide it a bit longer.
Oh the complications of life. So many facets to this situation.

There is Gareth and Sébastien. There is Gareth and Renée. There is Sébastien and Renée. There is Renée and Sébastien. There is Sébastien and the baby. There is Renée and the baby. There is Renée and Sébastien and the baby.

The thoughts just exhausted Renée.

Sébastien was still not calling. Maybe he was hurt. Maybe he didn't want her anymore. Maybe he disappeared for good. Maybe he went back to France.
What do you mean, maybe? Of course, he was hurt, insulted, disappointed, confused, fed-up even!

The doorbell chimed. Renée jumped up believing it to be Sébastien. She had a big smile on her face when she opened the door.

She pulled the door open, her smile vanished and her face fell.

Just the Courier Service. A man in a brown uniform standing on the stoop with a big box in his arms. The box, the size of a medium sized television carton.
"Mrs. Renée O'Neil?" The driver asked.
"Yes, I am Mrs. O'Neil." She responded, hesitantly.
"I have a package for you, sign here please." He tried to hand her the computerized box to sign with difficulty, as he balanced, this heavy box in his arms, at the same time.
After she signed he said, "Let me put this down somewhere for you, it is quite heavy."
"Oh, that is nice of you, please come in."

She led him to the living room, she moved the coffee table to the side, allowing him to lower the box to the floor in front of the fireplace.
"There you go. Have a nice day now." He disappeared.
Staring at this box she said with her back turned to him, "Yeah, you too." In a voice that was not paying attention to what someone said, all her thoughts, her eyes, every sensory she had was fixated on the box. What could it be? She wasn't expecting anything.