unwanted // bradley simpson

eight

"Bradley?" I was so shocked. I didn't think he would want to see me. I thought that when he got home he would kick me out and forget I ever existed. "Bradley I am so sorry for making you worry! That guy in the photo is my Uncle Josh."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I should have let you explain before I jumped to conclusions." I heard screams I the background. "Can I call you back a minute?"

"Yeah of course." He hung up and 5 seconds later I got a FaceTime call from him and answered immediately.

"Hey so um I would rather say this to your face. Are you nearby?"

"No, I had Josh bring me home." I said showing him where I was.

"I guess this will have to do then." He turned around revealing he was at the concert

"It's not over?"

"This last song is for you, Autumn." He had an acoustic guitar and I saw Connor doing some stuff with his phone. Next thing I saw was the crowd and Bradley looking up at the screen. Bradley turned around to the fans and held up some kind of sign. I couldn't see what it said but I guess that was the point.

"If you want words to out your mind at rest tonight,
Can we shout about it?"

He was singing to me. I was nearly in tears. The song was so beautiful and I loved it so much. At the end of the song I saw Tris, James and Connor come on stage holding signs behind their backs. They started holding them up one by one. And the crowd started yelling it out.

"I!"
"Love!"
"You!"

"Autumn." Bradley finished.

"I love you too Bradley Will Simpson." I said nearly in tears.

"Autumn?" Oh no. "Autumn wake up." No no no no

"What day is it?" I asked shooting my head up.

"Autumn what the heck is going on with you? Usually my little leaf is so calm. What's with you?" Josh. It was all a dream...Bradley still hates me.

"Nothing, I just had a really weird dream." I said choking back my sobs. I ran out of the car and sobbed into the couch. "Bradley I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain! I'm sorry I let that picture get out! I'm sorry I'm not perfect! I'm sorry I'm not pretty enough! I'm sorry I'm not famous enough! I'm sorry I thought I had a chance with you! I'm not pretty! I'm not smart! I'm not worth it!" I screamed. It felt like my world was collapsing around me. Or maybe it was just me who was collapsing. "I'm sorry that I won't be able to explain this to you in person! I'm sorry that I'm so unstable! I'm sorry that I'm not normal! I'm sorry that I'm not what you want! Im sorry for making you put in the effort to fix me! I'm sorry I ever kissed you! I'm sorry I ever let you save me! I should have just been raped or killed! I deserve it! I deserve all of it! I shouldn't be here! I'm sorry!" I sobbed even harder. I was having a mind attack as I called it. I would fill my head with the worst things. It's happened to me ever since grade 3. It hasn't happened since I met Bradley. Well up until today. God I was so stupid. Bradley probably doesn't even love me. Nobody can ever love me. I'm such a mess. I don't belong anywhere. Maybe there's a heaven for misfortunate souls...

BRADLEY'S POV

The concert ended and it was a great time when I wasn't thinking about Autumn. I thought she liked me. I guess I was completely wrong.

"Dude look at this." James said showing me his phone

Please tell Bradley that I didn't cheat on him. It was my uncle. Please...I'm sobbing in the car. Going back to the apartment. Please pass on the message

"The same excuse Melody used, James."

"She sent me a different one..." Rebecca said.

Becca please! Tell Bradley it was my uncle in that picture. None of the boys are answering me and I don't know what to do. I can't lose him please...

"I need proof from the guy himself." I said. I was so annoyed. I got hurt again and she's trying to convince me she's different. She's just like Melody. Rebecca wanted to check  on her so we drove drove back to the apartment and the music was blasting. It was heavy metal rock music. I didn't even know she listened to that stuff. We all walked in and heard sobbing coming from upstairs. I refused to go upstairs. Melody pretended to be heartbroken as well. Rebecca and Connor rushed upstairs and so did Tris and James. I can't believe this girl.

AUTUMN'S POV

I turned on loud music to drown out any sobs and ran up to the bathroom. It was around midnight I never had a mind attack that lasted for so long before. I looked myself in the mirror. I was hideous. Inside and out. I couldn't look at myself so I opened the cabinets and found a pill bottle. I was sobbing so hard that my tears got all over the bottle and made it even harder to open with my hands being so weak. I heard the door open and footsteps all around the house. I tried my best to open the cap but it just wouldn't budge. I heard people coming up the stairs. Still no budge.  The door opens. No budge. Rebecca slapped the bottle out of my hand and the pills fell all over the ground. I tried to grab them but Connor and Tris had my hands and they were holding me back.

"Let go!" I screamed.

"Autumn snap out of it!" Connor said.

"I need them!" I yelled.

"Brad call 999!" James yelled. I sobbed even harder. He hates me.

"Please!" I screamed "Just let me die!" I heard footsteps running up the stairs. Bradley. I couldn't look at him. I turned away but still struggled.

"Autumn..." He said. It hurt me to hear his voice but at the same time felt so good. "Autumn please stop struggling. I can't bare to see you like this." I stopped struggling. I had no strength left. He picked up all the pills and put them back into the bottle. "You don't want this." He said said holding them up in front of me. He threw them out the window and I sobbed a bit harder as he did. "Why would you even try to do this to yourself?"

"B-because I l-love you." I said in between sobs. "I had a dream where you forgave me and understood. I had a mind attack and..." I started to sob even more.

"Autumn I told you to never say that you weren't good enough. Because you are."

"But you hate me..." I was starting to calm down a bit.

"Autumn I thought you were like Melody. But you're not. Seeing you try to hurt yourself because of me just...hurts me. I love you Autumn. That's why I was so upset when I saw the picture. Because I love you too much." He hugged me and I hugged tighter while crying into his shoulder.

FEEEEEEELS! I seriously cried like three times while writing this.

-Malina xx