him.

Right In Front Of Me

"REBECCA! OMG! TURN THE CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW!" My words are interrupted by gasps of air. She doesn't hesitate to go over the speed limit to make her way back to the light.

This is worse than anything ever possible on earth. He is my bestfriend as much as he can be anything else. He needs to be ok.

My seat belt is already off and I am about to jump out of the car. In such a panic, as soon as the car screeches to a stop I already find myself kneeling down by Jacksons side.

"Jackson. Jackson!" I slap is face which just flops to the side. "You are going to be ok! Ok? Becca, call 911 or something, please!" I rue to her to see she is one step ahead of me. Ooh. I feel something on my face.

"Uhm, is it raining?" I say, to my surprise, calmly. When Rebecca finishes on the phone she pays her attention to me. "Amber" she looks at me weirdly. I don't know if it's happy or sad. Maybe both. "You're crying." "Oh ok, yea I guess I am." My face goes blank and my mind is trying to process everything that has just happened.

I snap back to reality when Jackson is pulled away from my grip. "Are one of you ladies joining him in the van?" "Me!" There is no hesitation when I say this. "I'll meet you at the hospital" Rebecca mentions to me but I'm to focus on getting Jackson help.

In the van I call his parents and mine and start to think I might be going crazy. But Jackson seems to be ok and the paramedics made sure he is stable. "Thank you" I whisper under my breathe.

At the hospital. every one in the world possible comes to visit Jackson. Some people are distressed. Others are relieved. I'm just there. Unreal. It's like Jackson's there, but he's not.

Maybe this is this a fantasy. Where he is going to be unconscious for a while. And then he's not. And all is good in life. Back to normal.

A week. A week has passed and Jackson still hasn't awoken. It's tiring. It's tiring to be at the hospital hours a day and not knowing if anything is getting better. I only hope though.

"Hey Jackson! What's up?" I feel better visiting him acting normal. "I'm sure you're awesome." It's been silent. I just don't know what to say anymore. But I mean, there has been one thing I've avoided.

"Jackson...you are going to be ok. When you wake up we'll go to munchies, even if it isn't Friday. And I love you. Like really. This past week has only been the worst of my experiences. I am only wishing for the best. Fuck, I think I might be falling for you. So yea. I love you, Jackson Torres."

I wish he was awake cause I kinda just poured my heart he is practically sleeping. But I'm also glad he isn't, 'cause then I would never confess this.

When I look up to cry, I don't. I've been crying for a week now. And I've been saying the same thing for a week now. But it's all true. I just want him to wake up already. It's enough for him and every one that cares to be going through this, when they don't deserve it.

I lean back in my chair a close my eyes. Just breathing. In and out. All I can think of is breathing. So much I don't notice what's happened right in front of me. Jackson flatlined.