Makeup and I have only had a relationship for about two months, but it became my best friend today along with some extra strength pain meds. I cover the bruise still marking my face and try as much as I can to cover the bags under my eyes. Surprisingly, it's the latter that doesn't want to disappear. Quickly, I also cover the redness of my throat. I still couldn't get over the fact that only a faded red mark was all the evidence left that I'd been choked. My voice was never hoarse except for right after, and it was only slightly sore if I touched it the first day. With that, it's astonishing that there's anything left of that part of the incident.
As I leave my apartment, part of me stalls. I may have gotten this place at Jake's urgings, but for the past five days it's been my safe haven. Closing the door felt... maddening. I smile to myself for my word choice and move on, there's no reason to linger when I would just be coming back tonight after work.
I take the bus to college, deciding it'd be easier than babying a car that started to really decay probably ten years ago. Today, all I have to do is sit through a lecture, and with Henry's jokes I can almost stand the professors droning voice, obviously he didn't want to be here either. Was he thinking of his bed too?
"Alana want's to go on a double date, you think Jake would be up to it?" Henry asks, catching my full attention.
Multiple reactions run through my brain; crying my brains out like I have been every night, hyperventilating tell my bruised ribs is all I can think about or telling my friend off for even mention that asshat. Instead, I focus my gaze on the professor passing in front of the whiteboard. Maybe I could just ignore the question.
"Jamie, you and him fighting?"
I give the slightest shake my head, if that was all, life would at least be somewhat tolerable.
Henry graves me by the shoulder, tugging on me till I'm facing him. My eyes sting with the warning of tears, hiding behind an attitude or ignoring hasn't worked. What am I gonna do when I face my grandma in person later? "He went too far, were over. You're gonna have to tell Lana that there won't be a double date." My voice is hard, but wobbles, betraying me.
He lets go of my arm, glancing at some people staring at us from the next row up. "What ya looking at?" They all jump back and shuffle down a few seats. Henry faces me again, a frown pulling down his thin lips. "Are you okay? Is that why you've been gone?"
I can only manage a nod, my hand finding it's way to my throat.
Henry doesn't get worked up like Cassidy, he only gives me a quick side hug and a few words. "I'm glad you're away from him then."
Again, all I can do is nod my head.
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Somehow, when I see Grams, she doesn't instantly know how much I've been hurt. My facade gains a leg to stand on then, much needed after... whatever happened with Henry earlier. She does comment on the bags under my eyes, though, still pink from the crying session I let myself have on the bus here. It didn't matter that a bunch of people saw me sobbing, I didn't know a single face and mine would just be a passing memory.
I do hug her longer than normal, though, nuzzling my face into her neck like when I was a kid, soaking in the comfort of her arms. She swats at me, kisses my bruised cheek, still hidden under makeup even after the day I've had, and tells me to hurry up and get to work. I roll my eyes but find my waist apron, pulling it on and pinning my name badge to my shirt. It was calming, getting back into my daily routine. Distractions from my thoughts came with every second, yeah I'm sore, yeah life isn't great and I just want to cry again, but at least I can't think about that as I make drinks for customers and bring them snacks.
Time passes easily like this, and with only an hour to closing, no customers seemed to be coming in anymore. It was a pretty usual thing to happen, but grandma refuses to shorten our hours by even a minute. I wipe down the tables and seats, turn the radio up, and relax into my favorite booth by the door with a large mug of plain hot chocolate. Outside, snow falls on the streets, turning into slush under the passing car's tires. A group of people walks right by the shop, there voices a mumble but their laughter clear. Down the street, a Santa Claus jingles a bell at his storefront.
It was peaceful in a way I hadn't realized I needed. Suddenly, I didn't want to go home to an empty apartment, I don't want to be alone. Yet, the person I would run to I now know I should no longer be around. Why? Why did things turn out this way? Did I not treat Jake well? Was I not there for him?
The cafe's bell tolls, announcing a customer and I quickly wipe my cheeks of the few tears that had slipped away from me.
This was no time for falling apart.
YOU ARE READING
Quiet Love BxB
Romansa"Are you expecting flowers and an apology, Jamie, because it's not happening." Jamie Roth knew that things were getting bad with his boyfriend. But he believed things could return to how they were at first. But when he finds the man he loves cheat...
