Drunk

0.5

Maddie Grace Clifford

I put on Aztec designed black and white leggings, my favorite leather jacket with sweatshirt sleeves and hood, a plain white shirt that honestly made my boobs look huge, and my usual converse.

My nails were black like always, and my heavy eyeliner the same. I usually just straightened my super curly hair, but I put it up tonight.

As I looked in the mirror, I sigh a sigh of relief. I get to go get away. Feel whatever it makes me feel.

It's more like what it doesn't make me feel. Alone. Worthless. Ugly. Fat.

I shook my head not wanting to feel or think of any of this. I walked downstairs, afraid of the sight ahead of me.

"YOU BITCH! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

She yelled at me as I descended down the stairs.

"Out to study. Bye mom," I said back. I ran out the door scared to stay to long.

Hopping in my car, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. I was gonna pick up Paige. We have small talk now and then, but we also have a silent agreement just like me and Emily. 

Neither of us talk, but I can read her like an open book. We both go to these parties for the same reason.

To get away. Maybe to stop swimming in our little box of thoughts, that gets bigger by the day. It drowns you slowly, killing you slowly, making you feel agonizing pain by going down to the bottom little by little.

She responded to my text I sent minutes ago, saying yes she'll be outside her house. She always is.

I started the car, making my way to her house. She's brothers with Shawn. I think Emily likes him. She thinks she's mysterious and quiet about it.

But, I still see the sparkle in her eyes when she jokes around with him. Or how when he tutors the freshman, she always finds a way to stay after school till he's leaving. Just to walk out with him.

I stay behind and help with the library.  

My phone rang, taking me out of my thoughts. It was my brother. He moved out of the house months ago. He wants me to move with him, but she needs me.

"Helllllo?"

"Hey sis, are you going to the party tonight? It's at Emily's. And Camerons,"

"Yeah I'll be there in ten," 

"Kk,"

The line went dead. That was weird, he didn't even have a reason to call. He knows I always go. And always bring Paige.

I pulled up outside her house. She walked off the porch, getting into my car.

By the time we arrived to the party, I was excited. I got to see him, and my feeling came back. My only one left.

I locked my car before going inside. As soon as I stepped in, I saw him. He was sitting on the staircase with a girl on his lap.

I looked away. I didn't want to see that. But I don't want to, need, think, do, or have a lot of things.

Something latched onto my hand as I walked past the staircase to the kitchen. I turned around slowly.

I looked into caramel brown eyes. Perfect caramel brown eyes.

"Yes?" I asked small like. I looked down at the floor waiting for the blow of hurtful words I was used to. I was met with my hand being let go of.

I looked up, trying to meet Cameron's eyes.

He looked away, and to the side. I looked that way. All of his friends were there.

"Hey slut, why are you talking to Cam Cam over here?!" One of the strongest ones said. I went to my full 5'9 height angry as hell. She  might be able to push me around, but they can't.

"Hey bitchy asshole, why are you talking to me?!" I said back, crossing my arms. No one responded as I walked away.

That night was crazy for most people. Usually it was relaxing for me. But not when I woke up in someones arms o don't know if I wanted to.

Cameron Dallas

She was here. In my arms, sound asleep. And I didn't know what to do.