On the last night of Klaus's life, we got in our biggest fight yet. He planned it out, I know he did, to push me away. I wanted to give him one last special memory. I wanted to be with him and to make him happy and to just tell him I loved him one last time. He didn't want that. He wanted to be an asshole and push me away. He wanted to make me hate him so he wouldn't feel so bad about dying and leaving me all alone...
"Do you want to go for a ride? I can drive the Camaro," I smiled, twirling his keys around my fingers, "I've been practicing stick-shift and I'm better now. I know I sucked before, but I promise, I'm much better." His dad taught me a little while Klaus was in the hospital, continuing what his son started, and I eventually figured it out on my own. It wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be driving stick.
"I don't think so, Partner," Klaus teased weakly, "I still don't like the idea of you driving my baby. I guess I should get over that. You be careful with her, okay?"
"I always am," I replied, instead of addressing his nearing departure from this Earth. I couldn't talk about it, it made me too choked up. I can't picture my life without him in it. He had accepted his fate at this point and was ready to go if I would let him, but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to let him go, and I'll never be ready. "But we can stay right here if you want to." I smiled before sliding into his bed beside him and curling up close to him, gently stroking his face with one of my hands while I stared into his eyes. They're still the most gorgeous pair of eyes I've ever seen, even though they aren't as bright as they were the first day I met him. I brushed my lips against his for a moment before feeling him pull away with a shuddery sigh.
"Actually, I think it's time for you to go." Klaus said, completely out of the blue. It was the last thing I expected him to say. He couldn't kick me out now, not when he was so close...
I leaned back to look him in the eyes as I asked, "What do you mean?"
"You need to go," He repeated, "I don't want you here...for this." He tried to put more distance between us by pulling his hand out of mine and staring at me blankly. He was so good at that, acting like he didn't care. It was such an obvious facade. He should have known I wouldn't fall for that so easily.
"I'm not going to leave you, Klaus." I made no moves to indicate I'd be leaving his side any time soon.
"I don't want you here," He said, stronger this time. He spoke so rigid and recited, like he'd written it down or practiced it in his head over and over. He must have been waiting for the right moment, the last moment, to tell me goodbye in the worst possible way. So he wouldn't have to actually say goodbye. "I never wanted you here. You were supposed to be my lab partner only, not this. This wasn't part of the plan."
"I didn't think you had a plan," I pointed out, trying to forget about the hurtful things he said before that. I knew deep down that he was only saying what he knew what hurt me most, but I still felt the bang in my chest when he say he didn't want me.
"Of course I had a plan," Klaus scoffed, "Everybody has a plan. Mine was to ruin your life." I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or serious. "Think about it, Rodialyn. Your life was perfect before you met me. You had everything! Mine was shit. You had perfect grades, a scholarship to college next year, an awesome boyfriend, and popularity. Me? I had six months to live and nothing to live for. So I made you my toy. I played with you for my amusement." He was fully in character now, resolved on making me hate him. His eyes actually flashed with emotion for the first time in over a week. Anger. Frustration. Sadness.
"Stop it..." I begged him, but he didn't listen.
"I didn't think you'd go for it as hard as you did. I thought you'd at least resist me a little more, but I had you hooked the first time I asked you to meet me. You actually came out in the middle of the night to go to an unknown destination with a guy you didn't even know. What kind of a girl are you? I still can't believe you showed up." Klaus chuckled as I tried not to cry. He was feverish and sweaty; he shouldn't have been exerting so much energy being angry at me. He should have just shut up and rested, but he didn't. "You showed up every single time. You did everything I wanted. You even slept with me." He smirked as I finally got off the bed, needing to put a little bit of distance between us so he'd chill out. I'd hoped he'd chill out.
"Fuck you," I muttered. It was a half-hearted 'fuck you', but I felt it needed to be said.
He smirked yet again, "Like I said, already did that, Partner. More than once, too. What do you think about that? You still want to stay?" Before I could answer, tell him yes, I didn't care, he was speaking again, "I don't want you here. I don't care what you want to do. I'm the one who's dying. I want to do it alone."
"I don't think you mean what you're saying," I told him, "I don't want to leave you." I couldn't believe he was doing this to us. I couldn't believe he was taking away our only chance to say goodbye and trying to shut me out. It wasn't fair. He was leaving me. He should have let me say goodbye and wait with him until he was gone. It was selfish, but I couldn't help how I felt.
"Get the fuck out of here, Rod. You are the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Go!"
He leaned his head back on his pillow after using his last bit of strength to shout at me, but his eyes never left mine. He still looked sad but he was completely serious. He was begging me to listen to him, to do what he asked. I understood that what he was saying might not be right for me, but it was what he wanted. He couldn't leave and go somewhere else himself in his condition, so I had to leave him. I blinked back tears that stung my eyes and slowly started towards the door, but I turned back to tell him, "I love you. I don't know if you're doing this to make yourself feel better about what is happening, or if, in some sick way, you think you're making it easier on me...I don't know. But I love you, Klaus. And I know you love me, whether or not you say it. I know you do. So if you want this to be our goodbye...then just tell me one more time to go, and I will."
Klaus took a long, deep breath, and I was hopeful that he'd changed his mind, but then he said, "Please. Go."
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces as I whispered, "Goodbye," to the boy I love for the last time. I knew he wouldn't make it through the night. He would be gone by morning and I wouldn't be there with him when he went. I shut the door to his bedroom when I left, politely told Mr. Swedlund goodbye, and made it to my car before breaking down. I cried harder than I'd ever cried in my life. The pathetic whimpers coming out of my throat turned into uncontrollable sobs, and I was glad no one was there to hear it. I ran my fingers through my hair roughly, pulling hard and squeezing my eyes shut against the pain. I tried to take calming breaths to stop the tears. It didn't work. Every time I nearly calmed down, I remembered Klaus was dying in that house and he didn't want me there. I could barely compose myself long enough to start up the engine of my car and began driving, and in hind-sight, I probably should have taken that as a hint that I wasn't fit behind the wheel...
