Book Two - Just Enjoying My Life.... Right? (Completed)

Chapter 15

Here's the new chapter, this time in less than a week. Enjoy!

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~~ Sam’s POV ~~

As soon as I let Emily in I regret ever doing so. The moment I close the door and face her, I just want her gone again. Being in such close proximity after learning of what she has done isn’t making me feel any better about the situation.

I’m not a violent person and I would never in a million years hit a woman, yet right now I feel as though I am capable of anything. My entire body is so tense it’s starting to ache. My hands are clenched at my sides, so tightly in fact I can barely feel them. I’m also breathing so heavily I fear I might hyperventilate.

While I wait for her to say something, I pour myself another tumbler of whisky. All I want is for it to take the pain away but at the moment it’s not working. When I turn back to face her, she’s looking at the floor.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

She looks up at me and my heart stops. Her eyes are filled with tears and a lone one sliding down her cheek. Her bottom lip is quivering and she just looks so sad, so vulnerable so… helpless. I hate seeing her like this and for a split second I just want to forget about everything, embrace her and tell her everything will be ok. Of course I don’t do any of that.

Immediately that feeling is replaced with the all too familiar anger. The anger I felt the moment I heard her confession. How dare she?

“I’m sorry.” Emily whispers, her voice shaking. “I don’t know why I let it happen. You have to know how wretched I feel, Sam.”

“Well that’s you’re problem! You’re not getting any sympathy from me, Emily! How do you think it makes me feel? I’ve given up everything for you, I trusted you and this is all I get in repayment?”

Her shoulders slump forward and I’m convinced I’m not going to get anything out of her. I’m about to tell her to leave when she straightens up and looks at me. She takes a deep breath then starts talking. Actually, when I say talking, it’s a jumbled mess of nothings. I can’t work it out, really I can’t. I guess it doesn’t help my head is fuzzy from the whisky. She starts babbling about one thing then changes to another but then changes to something else. She’s mumbling and stumbling over her words and, quite frankly, it’s pointless.

In the end I can’t handle it anymore. Rather than listening anymore, I interrupt her and tell her to leave.

“Sam, please let me ex -”

I spin around and glare at her.

“You can’t explain anything, Emily! I’ve spent five minutes listening to nothing and that’s enough! I don’t want to hear you or your jumbled words so right now I want you out of my room and away from me!”

“I’m sorry.”

Emily reaches for my arm but I move it away brusquely. “Don’t touch me.”

A look of hurt crosses her face but I ignore it. Finally she says, “I really am sorry, Sam. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just need some time.”

I laugh sourly. “Oh you’ll get time alright. Now get out of my room.”

She opens her mouth to say something but realising I won’t listen she just nods and turns to the door. I can’t help the stab in my heart as I watch her leave but right now I don’t care. She can leave forever for all I care.

Half filling my tumbler again, I sit down and think back to what she said, or tried to say. With her gone, I might be able to piece some bits together. I finish the whisky and am about to refill it again but stop myself. I’ve lost track of how many I’ve had and it’s not helping my confusion. I had hoped it would clear my head but it’s done the opposite.