Beaten and Raped, Highlight of my life

Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven't missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake

By every sigh and scream we make

All the feelings that I get

But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

I cringed at the lyrics and looked at the cuts and bruises going down my arms. I hate everything about you WHY do i love you? The thought never came with an answer and there was probably none that anyone could give me. Since i was 5 the drug dealing started and then the alcohol was mixed in and then he started pulling and pushing me around kicking me when i fell. The beating was the least of my problem when he started selling me to his drug friends for sex. There i was 7 years old at the time under a large and faulty old man crying for someone to help yelling for my father. He never came.

" ASHTON PUT THAT MUSIC DOWN YOU LITTLE CUNT !" I sat up in my bed and touched the cold floor with my bloody feet and tried holding on to the wall to get to my stand with the sound speakers. There was loud foot steps coming down the hall and my body just collapsed knowing it was already to late. Tears already threatened to fall down my reddened cheeks. The door was kicked in and there he stood over me with those piercing black eyes shooting directly at me.

"I'm sorry daddy i was going to turn it down" it came as a whisper but loud enough for him to hear it. He put his face at level with mine and hissed at me. " well I'm going to teach you to do what i tell you to do right when i say it !" "NO please daddy you already beat me two times today" A sob escaped my pale cut lips and he smirked at me. "Make it four.."

He took me by the collar and threw me at my bed and my head hit the head board. Walking over to me he started to un buckle his belt and glared at me. He threw it to the floor and i looked at it in confusion maybe he wont beat me the thought was washed out of my mind when he got on top of me with no pants on. My face must have showed what i was feeling. pure terror. Because he laughed evilly and tore my shorts off. After a couple of pleads and failed attempts to get away from him he back handed me in the head and passed out just when he started to thrust inside me.

______________________---_____________________

The floor had spots of blood and fresh tears. My body felt life-less on the floor and my sobs were held tightly inside my chest. I awoken from my blackened sleep to see him putting his clothes back on and i felt relief that he wasn't still in me but not long after he saw me up he beat me half to death. The song that was playing while he was about done hitting, and throwing me around like a rag doll was playing in my head.

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb

You're not the only one

I'll take you by the hand

And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt

When happiness doesn't work

Trust me and take my hand

When the lights go out you will understand

Pain without love is sure right. My head was pounding and hurt from laying on the floor for what seemed like decades. Slowly i got my broke body up and dragged it limply over to my long mirror. Looking at my reflection scared me and i wanted this nasty thing standing in front of me to disappear and never return. There was a gash in my leg about 4 inches long and shrieks of dried up blood going down to my dirty feet. My eye was puffy and there was a bruise ready to form, and his hand print was embedded into my skin on each side of my thighs.

My golden hair didn't look as blonde as it used to maybe because blood and dirt had been building up since the last time i was allowed to take a shower which was about a month. My eyes were swollen almost completely shut and couldn't see my ocean blue eyes. My heart sunk and i wished that my mom would come back and take me with her but she was just as scared as i was. He had that affect on all of us. A tear slide down my throbbing face and over my bloody and swollen lips.

Was my life ever going to get better... Nope this was the beginning little did i know it could get worse.

_______________________

Hey guys sorry for the short chapter. Hope everyone enjoys it so far i have a lot planned out for poor ashton.

LIKE & COMMENT PLEASE IF YOU WANT TO READ MORE OR LIKED IT !!!!