Love from the streets (A Josh Hutcherson FanFic)

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

I close my eyes and wait for something to happen. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. I don’t want anyone to talk to me; I want to live in silence. I liked living on my own, in a way. Now there are people stopping me from things. I should have tried to get away from Josh when he came over. I should have acted dead. I should have done so many things that I did not do.

    I yawn, but that hurts. I sigh, and open my eyes again. The door to the room opens, and Josh walks in. He walks over to me and Jennifer and sits in a chair next to her. He stares at me, and I stare back. I wait for someone to say something because I don’t have anything to say. “Can you leave us in privacy?’ Josh asks Jennifer.

    “Sure,” Jennifer says, and leaves the room.

    Josh migrates to the chair Jennifer was in, closer to me. “Don’t wish death,” Josh says. “Because you won’t get it until it’s absolutely time.”

    “Like you can make sure of it,” I say. “I don’t have a purpose to be alive.” There’s a short pause. “If I did I wouldn’t have had to grow up so much like a rat.”

    “There were famous people in the world that grew up much worse than you did and made a difference in things. You have purpose.”

    “Yeah? Then tell me what it is, Josh.”

    “I don’t know what it is, but you do.”

    “I don’t know what it is. That’s why I asked you.”

    “Then maybe you just haven’t found it yet.” Josh plants a kiss on my cheek lightly. “Everyone has purpose.”

    There’s another silence. This time very long. I listen to the clock tick. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick Tock. It’s so annoying that I’m willing to get up and throw it across the room. “I don’t want to live,” I hear myself say.

    “Just stop,” Josh says. “Shut up. Quit saying that.” There’s yet another silence. “Tell me why you wanted to die at first - before you got here.”

    “I didn’t want to put you through so much trouble with me.”

    “Yeah. But why suicide?”

    “I didn’t have a purpose outside your hands.”

    “Did you have one inside?”

    “Yes.”

    “Then why’d you leave?!”

    There’s a silence. A very long silence. Longer than the others. It’s eerie. Tears stream down my face quickly. It hurts because when you cry your face gets scrunched up, and my face kind of hurts. “I don’t know,” I say. After I calm down a bit, I ask, “When do I leave this place?”

    “Months. Like three.”

    “So you’ll be away most of the time I’m here.”

    “But you won’t be alone.”

Like Josh said I was in the hospital for three months and I was not alone. Jennifer didn’t come because apparently they were in the same movie. But other people came, only briefly though. At least one doctor stayed with me the whole time to make sure I didn’t take the tube out like I did before, or wanted to, I can’t remember.

    Josh said that other people now know and care about me. I guess he meant his fans, because one week - which was last week - a bunch of them came. They came with flowers, and small gifts, but I didn’t want them. Of course I didn’t say that though; I just let them put it next to the bed. They got pictures with me, which I found odd. I’m not the famous one.