Ch. 1

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I felt dead. I should die. He would be my reason to live he said. He will never hurt me he said. Well, I guess he really did lie to me.

I got out of my car and ran into my apartment building. I jumped into the elevator by myself, thank god, all the way to the 22 floor. I quickly opened the door and slammed it shut.

'I am a mess.' I thought to myself.

I looked down at my wrist and saw all of the scars from my last cutting. 4 weeks. Four fucking weeks I haven't cut once. I guess it's time to brake that record.

I walked into my bathroom and opened the cabinet above the marble sink.

I finally found what I was looking for. My blue and red razor blade. I quickly but oh so softly dragged it across my wrist.

Little cuts lined my wrist. All of my fresh cuts swelling and dripping blood onto the black and white tile floor.

1st cut - he cheated on me

2nd cut - he said he loved me

3rd cut - he never loved me as he said, no, as he promised me he would.

4th cut - I found him inside Hannah, my worst enemy

5th cut - she took away all of my friends

6th cut - she stabbed Ethan in the back with a knife twice

7th cut - she was pregnant with Chris's child

8th cut - Jazzy fucked my brother

9th cut - the record company never called me back.

10th cut - Josh is dead

I know, there is a shit load of stuff going on, but I guess it could be worse. She could have still been my friend.

My mind flashed back to 30 minuets ago.

{flashback}

"C-Chris... Oh...don't stop...oh god keep going! Faster! Faster!" I walked into my boyfriend Ethan's apartment and heard Hannah's high, annoyingly pitched voice screaming from the upstairs.

I jumped up the flight in a couple quick silent bounds.

I ripped open the locked door off the hinges and walked right into what looked like a porn shoot. He was on top of Hannah's naked body with his dick still inside her. And she was fucking pregnant! Because of chris jazzy's little brother!

"What the hell!" Hannah screamed "get the fuck out of here you witch!"

I looked at her and said "first of all, he is my boy- sorry ex-boyfriend, and I came to visit like I PROMISED I WOULD and I walk in to see a whore fucking him. What the hell do you except me to do! Oh, and I am so good a being a witch that I will even turn that W into a B." DAMN! I am sassy today!

"It's not what it looks like!" Ethan screamed.

"Oh, so what is it? A friendly fuck? Did you pay that whore to fuck you senseless? Did ya? Did you even think of me before she touched you? No? I didn't think so!" I screamed towards him.

"Just get out and let us finish!" Hannah's high voice echoed.

Oh she did it. She pushed my buttons for the last time. I walked over as he pulled out of her and I grabbed her by the hair and threw her into the bathroom down the hall. Thank god Ethan is an idiot and doesn't know which way to construct a door. I locked the door from the outside and walked back into his room.

"What the hell were you doing with her?" I asked.

"I didn't do anything. She came on to me! Besides, I love you and you know I wouldn't cheat on you." He countered

"If you really loved me then you would have pushed her away. If you really loved me you would have tried something on me and not her. If you really loved me we wouldn't have broken up 10 seconds ago."

He looked up into my eyes and begged "you don't mean it. You love me and I love you back. I am a man and I have needs. I got turned on and I needed to do it. I need sex, hell, the whole male population of England needs sex. And I got it."

"We aren't even from England you douche bag! "

"So, that doesn't mean that I don't need sex."

I walked away and opened the door to the bathroom to find Hannah with a knife in her small hand.

She ran out and drove it into his muscular back and he dropped to the floor.

"I thought we had something special! She screamed. And she stabbed him once again.

I ran.

Down the stairs and out his door.

{flashback over}

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