My sweet monster (KennyxButters, Bunny South Park fanfiction)

✟Empty?✟

My heart was beating rapidly as if it was trying to jump free

Stop

Stop

Stop

Stop it

Please

I covered my mouth with my free hand to prevent my heavy breaths be heard

Why do they want to hurt me?

What have I done?

"You have been a bad boy"

Please leave me alone

"Come out, you must take your punishment like a good boy"

Don't make me

The door opened revealing those cold eyes

"There you are"

Please...

7 years later

I silently doodled nonsense in my notebook as time ticked by.

I always find myself drawing away even if I don't even focus on what I'm drawing

I don't have a tendency of paying much attention

Profound thoughts will always lead to disaster and depression

Just as if you start thinking I'm bored, bored morphs into lonely, lonely morphs into miserable, miserable morphs into depression, and end of story depression morphs into death.

Its just an endless cycle I guess, not much can be done about it.

Im not depressed, I'm not suicidal I swear.

Its me, same old Butters

That naive kid who was always pushed around, who's kindness was taken taken for granted.

Who's love was mistaken for weakness

Yet I can never hate the world for mistreating me when I'm in my lowest, I cant stay mad at anybody for too long. Some people would say its a disadvantage and a curse but I know some day it'll come in handy.

The bell echoes around classroom

Disrupting the quietness, all of my classmates got up from their chairs and slung their backpacks by their shoulders.

I took my time in putting away my notebook and pencil.

"See you later Butters"

"Bye Butters"

"I'll drop by later Butters"

The usual

If somebody were to ask how life was treating me, what would I answer?

Alright, no?

I have friends

Are they really?

Im surrounded by many people who love me

Do they really?

They will stick for me till the end

Will they really?

Its been pretty average for these past years, I'm kind of glad to be honest

Just 7 years ago I couldn't have imagined myself where I am now

"Don't forget about tomorrow's test Butters" the teacher reminded as I walked outside the classroom.

I just acknowledged her with a smile and carried on my way

I stood by the bus stop and waited for the right bus to arrive

I don't stutter as much as I used to before

As scheduled, the bus appeared and I got on it

Im still shy but I have overcome my anxiety

I sat in the backseat alone

I smile more often

I pull on the handle when I reach my stop

I have had more friends over these past years

I got off the bus with shaky breaths

Im no longer vulnerable

I passed by the creaky and rusty gate

So why is it...

I walked over to a small hill with a lonely and decaying tree

That I feel so...

I sat by the tombstone that had engraved "Kenny McCormick"

Empty?