Many people hate winter.I love it.Maybe because i finally deleted all my feeling and now nobody can hurt me.WRONG.If you think that by "removing" your feeling you will stay safe,you are wrong.First of all you dont delete them or remove them.You simply just put them in the back of your mind and try not to show them which is basically hiding them.This is not a permanent solution and the side and after effects are devastating.And the funny thing is that we put fake smiles all the time and we expect people notice how fake are they when we cant even notice one.We laugh at things and hope someone sees through our eyes how broken are we..but this happens only in books,movies and tumblr.Theres nothing like true love and true happiness or true whatever.Everything on this world is fake and false.
Now you have the picture,the idea how and what i think about the world.About the people?They are the same.After all they made the world to be cruel and fake and disgusting.Boys?I dont need boys right now.They only want to play with girls like toys and when they get bored to throw them away like trash.So why would i want this?And dont tell me that i concentrate only on the negative parts of them or just because i have met cold-hearted boys i cant talk like this.Well tell me then do you think that when you meet "Mr.Perfect" how can you be so sure that both of you give the same amount of love to each other?Cause if you dont you know that one of you will gey hurt.And dont tell me YOLO cause even if you live your life once doesnt mean that you have to allow some guy to hurt you or use you.But you will be right only there where i cant tell you what to do.If you wanna be used and hurt go ahead.I dont care.If you think thats the right thing to do,okay then.But when you get hurt or someone breaks you,dont come to me.
So yeah,you can say im a negative person,who is single.My father died two months ago of cancer.I didnt cry.Maybe his death locked all of my feelings.I stopped smiling,laughing,crying,yelling.I have become one calm person.Or maybe i define myself like one.I dislike people who cant control their feelings.Control youself.I live with my mother.I can say that my parents never truly loved each other cause you see..every normal couple in love goes on dates or tell each other "i love you".My parents never did.They never divorced either.It was me who was on their way.They knew that it will reflect on my grades and studies so then never dared.It looks like destiny after all wanted them apart.
Im good with my momShe goes to work in the morning and comes back home at 5.Then rests and goes to do yoga.Comes back home around 9:30.My father used to pick her up and would come back home earlier.I go to school.I dont eat breakfast cause i dont like eating early.Come back home.Lunch?Nah i prefer to study.I study pretty hard.It gets around 7-8pm.I would either watch tv or listen to music,while tumblr.Sometimes i would go to the store for food and cook something.I would wait for my mom and yeah.Who does the chores?I do them most of the time after school or while i study.I dont mind.I have pretty loaded life but im okay with it.I have eating disorder but my mom doesnt know about it.Actually nobody knows.Im okay with this too.I have also anxiety and depression but im okay with this too.I dont have friends or soicial life and sometimes i miss this but im okay with this too.What i miss a lot is my dad but i will move on.
As i said i dont need boys but it looks like Theo Sprouse didnt think like me.He was a mix of danger,adrenaline,bad,sexy and trouble.He had fangirls.Fangirls for fuck sake.And he is the boy i hate the most.He thinks because he has fangirls and he is handsome he can get everything so easy.Well i dont think so.He is famouse with this that he screwed all girls in the school.Well not all.Not me.Never.He is all the time in trouble and in detentions.He doesnt care about anything.I admire only this in him.But i still hate him.He would pick on me all the time since 8th grade.Right now we are in 10th.Two fucking years.And this year is the worst.Ugh how wouldnt you hate this boy.
