More than Trinity

Chapter Two

I had faded away, left in my own personal world of hell, or in this case: my head. Everything had been a constant and unfading ache that seemed as if it had no plan of ever going away. I had retired to my bed in depression three months ago and hadn't left it except for the occasional shower or bathroom break.

I stunk; my sheets were dirty as shit and I had lost weight. Most girls would call going from 145 pounds to 103 pounds a bloody miracle but in my case it was bad - very bad. All the muscle I had gained through hours of intense training had started to decay the second I went from eating four meals a day to barely one. Without enough fat for my body to consume and live off, it had turned towards my muscles for the source of nutrients my body craved.

I was sick and I had been told on many occasions from doctors that if I didn't get up I would most likely die. I wish I could say the second I heard that I was up and out of the bed, running around and getting back to my routine. I wish I could say that I took it upon myself to shower more than once a week. I wish I could say that I hadn't shut out everyone who cared or loved me. But I can't say any of that because guess what? I did.

A part of me wants out of here at this very moment, it's my wolf instincts that yearn for the smell of fresh rain, the forest floor softening the sound of my paw steps, or the leaves of nearby bushes brushing against my flank. That part of me wanted to leap out of this bed, get dressed and just go.

Now you're wondering why the hell I haven't done that yet. I get it, I really do. But you see, saying I have an animal side that's strong and powerful also means I have a human side as well. A certain human side that is weak and heart broken. I shouldn't be, I mean, come on, I didn't even really know him. I saw him a few times and he had a finance. He. Was. Happy. He's probably not even given me a passing thought because he's too wrapped up with his new Luna and me? I have barely moved; hell I've barely been living.

That was it, I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't live like this because, in all honesty, it wasn't living. I was simply breathing. I hated it and I was done, I was so done. With that running through my head I shakily dragged myself out of bed with as much will power as I could muster. Everything about me was so weak, I felt like a thin piece of paper about to be blown away in the smallest gust of wind.

I didn't care about showering at the moment; I could do that in the river. Right now I needed to find the strength inside myself to shift and to stay in wolf form. I collapsed onto the padded carpet beneath me with failing energy. But I wasn't giving up - I was going to do this.

Somebody must have heard me shudder to the ground because the next thing I knew, Isaiah was next to me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and the other clutched my hand. He easily lifted me up and began to set me back on the bed, back onto my cage.

"No." I flailed around in his thick arms. "No." I wiggled away from him and crawled back onto the floor with a purpose. Isaiah crouched next to me. "No more." I croaked, my throat felt hoarse and cracked from barely talking and only a small amount of water.

"What do you need Luna?" He murmured to me and tugged a knotted and greasy piece of hair behind my ear. Being as my mother had passed away and it was only three years before I became leader of the pack, Isaiah thought it would be amusing to start calling me Luna a little early. Unfortunately, the name had caught on and I was being called Luna throughout the pack already.

"I need," I huffed for air, damn this was so hard. "I. Need. To. Shift." Isaiah's brows creased in confusion. He placed a calloused hand onto my bony shoulder.

"Let me help you friend." A flow of energy rushed through him and into me. I looked at him with a mixture of admiration and awe; it was an old energy passage that hasn't been used between wolves in a long time. I was surprised he knew how to do it at all but it was the boost I needed.