alleredniC

Worthy, Chapter 11

~ I'm sorry I have not updated in a FEW months.... BUT I'm here and wanted to write this again. SO without any further ado! Chapter 11~~

'Then do not be around me. Now don't ever say that again.'

Radley's words just kept replaying in my mind. I walked into the parking lot and saw Laine's car. I slowly and emotionlessly got in the passenger side and looked straight ahead. I hoped she got the signal that I didn't want to talk right now, and thankfully she did. It was silent the whole drive home and when we finally pulled into the driveway I got out of the car and walked into the house and straight to my room as quietly as I could.

I was not gonna lie to myself all that was happening was bringing me down. It also didn't help that its barely been a month since my fathers...death and it was one of those days that he was in the back of my mind all day. I knew I hardly gave myself enough time to grieve, It wasn't healthy. I also knew I had plans to met Preston today, so I slowly got myself together. I straightened my hair and put on natural makeup with a black button up shirt and red shorts. I checked my phone and saw it was only a little past 5PM. I looked in the mirror and saw my hair was faded to a orangish pink color. I only sighed and hoped that today would go by quicker.

I waited until it was exactly 6PM to walk downstairs and go sit on the porch outside, It dawned on me that Preston was fairly good at reading my emotions. I knew he would notice I was a little off, and that he would be careful but eventually pry everything out of me. I saw Preston pull into our driveway and I stood and walked into the passenger side without even allowing him to greet me properly.

"Ray?..." He studied my face and pulled out of the driveway and he stayed silent for a few minutes. "Raylynn I hope you don't mind, but I don't feel like going out anywhere. So lets get McDonalds and sit in the car listening to music."

I felt a pang in my heart. Why was he so understanding and sweet, he made everything less worrisome. He made my anxiety go away and made me smile after all that happened. He pointed at the radio and I guess that meant I choose the music, so I searched threw the channels until I heard 'Immortals' by Fall Out Boy and I smiled to myself. He went in the drive threw and we ordered twenty McNuggets with BBQ, Fries, and two McFlurries. Then we parked the car and ate peacefully until I notice him staring at me. Of course I blushed because Preston was a very handsome guy and very sweet obviously.

"Ray-"

"He rejected me. I confessed my feelings to Radley and he turned me down. I knew he would because of Paula, but he was vey cold. He seemed angry as well, I didn't want to upset him. Maybe I wasn't good enough to have around him, or maybe he felt betrayed by me." I knew Preston would ask so I figured I would just tell him.

"...Raylynn, I hate to push you, but why would you think your not good enough?"

"I wasn't good enough for my father." I was shocked I said that. I never thought that before....But he did leave me behind.

"Can I help you grieve?"

I looked at him a little shocked, it was like he knew what I was thinking. He must like me to know so much about me. So I hesitantly nod at him, I hope it will dull my pain.

"Don't hate me for this, but I need you to get angry at me. So just listen okay?" He says this in a low voice and nod. I knew he didn't want to hurt me, only because his eyes. They seemed to lure me in.

"Hes in Hell." I can't help but cough, choking on air. I was surprised that it stung this much to hear this from him. "He killed himself, He didn't care enough to clean things up. He drowned in the sorrow your family put him threw. I'm sure you thought that you could see him in heaven once you died, and you could be a family again, ya?" I noticed he was close to me now and I move to shove him back as my chest felt too heavy to breath. He grabbed my hands and stayed close to me. "But Raylynn He's in Hell and you will never see him again. Not in this life or the next, because even in Hell you will never be able to find him before Lucifer finds you. Thats why your the one thats too good for him."

I was shaking, sobbing, and angry. I wanted to get out of the car and find my dad. I wanted to see him and hear his ruff voice again. I wanted to have another dream so I could see him and cry to him so he could hold me again. So he could sooth me again and protect me again, so he can tell me more of his dumb stories. Even though I knew all of my dreams and wishes at this point were unreachable.

"He left me! He left without saying goodbye, with out saying I love you. Without making sure we were stable or asking how any of us felt. But he did what mom asked. He gave her what she wanted, to be alone, he also gave that to everyone that was close to him."

I felt my voice dropping and cracking as if I was finally letting everything out. I felt Prestons arms around me, and I keep letting everything out. About Radley, Mom, Laine, and Dad. Threw out it all he was threw holding me tight and I think I felt something in my scattered and broken soul. I think I felt someone slowly and carefully bringing it back together. I felt someone reshape it and hug it, I cried, I cried knowing how much I have cried and knowing its not the end. Not for me or my future, I was sure that the one hugging my heart was Preston.

"...Hey can I do something else to make you feel worthy?"