The paddering sound of rain added to the intense conversation I was about to begin. I was despised myself for not telling my story to the boy I'd loved the most. I was afraid of ruining any intention he had of a long term relationship. But I knew I had to tell him at some point and the longer I waited to harder it would become. Cameron was flicking through channels on TV and I was sitting up on the bed.
"Cameron." I called nervously.
"Yesss." He grinned dragging out the s.
I let out a big puff of air and brased myself for what I was about to say. I guess Cameron could tell I was nervous because he turned off the TV and sat beside me.
"I have to tell you something but I don't want you to think of me any differently." It came out more as a question than a statement. I waited for him to respond but he only put his arm around me so I continued.
"Ummm, there's really not a good way to put this but." I sighed. "I have cancer and I've had it for a while and..." I stopped when Cameron let go of me. This is the part where I usually cried but I had said it so many times before I had gotten used to it.
I figured Cameron was speechless because for a while he just stared at me in disbelief.
"Why didn't you tell me this before Y/N?" He asked with a weak voice.
"I..I wanted to but I wanted you had so much stress with you career an.. and I wanted you to be happy."
I was talking with my head down but I heard a sniffle and looked up. Cameron was crying and looked very worried. The only thing going through my mind was I'm so fucking stupid. I should have never dated him anyway. I should have known this wouldn't have ended well.
"Cameron I am so sorry for bringing you into this mess I should have let you date someone else." I said sincerely.
Cameron's eyes quickly changed from sadness to anger. The words he said after that changed my whole mood.
"Y/N don't you ever say that again." He demanded tears still running down his cheeks. " I will never blame you for this and it hurts that you think I will. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, so damn right it hurts to find that out. But I won't love you any less if anything I'll love you more than ever."
He sat back down at this point and put a few strands of hair behind my ear.
"Do you understand?" He asked.
I was in shock by his words. I never had anyone love me the way he did.
Without even thinking I said "I love you too Cam"
