Apricot blossoms somewhere between the unfathomable chains of my thoughts, the thoughts of you that are bundled inside me since forever
Since forever seems the time you've been gone
Scent of water lilies and cypress encompass me like your arms used to, a delicate warmness so endearing and vivid
I go near them when I miss our intimacy
A redolence of Cinnamon taps on the tip of my nose, light as your finger, every time I open the closet full of your clothes,
I had always known you and cinnamon to be this similar
The chair of your study you left yourself imprinted on, It engulfs the room in an haunting, unadulterated rank of leather
I swear if I close my eyes, I'd find you leaning back on this chair, eyes closed and that triumphant smile etched on your lips
There's this way the aroma of wet soil sink inside me that I feel your breath hovering over my neck, pressing to my lips, It gives me an errant illusion of you not being a part of me but wholly me,
Like when your soul left your body, it found me instead or like it was never apart from mine
As if it was, is, always lingering in between the cracks of me
The delicate yet enthralling incense of sandalwood reminds me of the echo of your voice across the bedroom door, following me through the kitchen, finally colliding into me, onto the front porch where I sit by myself these days
Sometimes, I'd stand on one end of the road, trying to hold onto anyone who leaves a trace of you behind, in sweet musky rhymes to entrance myself
How it surprises and terrifies me that every person who pass me by bears an uncanny resemblance to you in ways impossible to the understanding of any sane person
Somehow It makes no difference how or why, I know the purpose of me is to find you in everything
Like cedar leaves, rosewood, jasmine and lavender, your wilderness is all around me, I don't understand then how must I say you are or were
Ever gone
