ghosts that we knew: A mockingjay fanfiction

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 3

Primrose POV

My hands are still shaking when I rush from the infirmary and into a nearby secluded hallway. I clench a rag in between my teeth to keep my screams from echoing as my body slides down the wet, earthy walls of the corridor, convulsing with oncoming sobs that test my lurching stomach. I pull my legs to my chest and begin to rock-forward, backward-repeating verses of Deep in the Meadow to myself in order to calm my nerves.

Katniss, my brave older sister, screaming and thrashing helplessly. Katniss, my second mother, with my future niece or nephew inside of her. Katniss, my best friend, going weak and limp in my arms as I jabbed a sedative of morphling into her shoulder. I try to shake the image from my mind and feverishly wipe my tears away, but it is no use. I still see my sister's terrified eyes, her pupils dilated so intensely that they appeared black as bottomless pits, when she recognized that it was me hurting her.

I had been working in the first-aid station for weeks, before they had even brought my sister into the intensive care unit. I was grateful to be there, to be able to have the opportunity to do the one thing I have always felt best at and have always had control over: medicine.

I cannot control my innate nature to care for other living creatures. I cannot control that I am not a fighter, like my sister. I cannot control that my name was the one called at the reaping of the 74th Annual Hunger Games, nor that my sister volunteered for me, thus altering the lives of everyone I know and care about.

But medicine, my knowledge of it, and my ability to heal with it is entirely within my control.

Until the incident today, that is. My skills in the first-aid station earned me great praise from the doctors whom I had been admiring from afar at my station in first-aid long before they recognized me for my exceptional skill. Just a week before, I was promoted into the intensive care wing of the hospital with my mother to care for patients in desperate need of our services. In one short week, I learned so much about the medical world that I aspire to be a part of, gaining first-hand experience in my specialty. I assisted patients, running the gamut of disease and injury, constantly. Their thankful eyes, the sterile scent of the intensive care unit, and the encouraging smiles of my peers brought me peace. For once in my life, I was not consumed by worry, and for once the fire had ceased between tragedy and me. While my sister was recovering, I had the consistency of other patients and my daily routine to dull the pain and keep myself occupied.

When my mother and I were brought by Haymitch Abernathy into our room in Comartment E with the Hawthornes and the mayor's daughter to be told that Katniss was having a baby, hours after she was admitted to the hospital, I was strangely elated. Not only did I have a soft spot for babies, but finally, it was my turn to help my sister. I had plenty of experience with assisting the mothers of both District Twelve and Thirteen as they began to nurse and care for their newborn children, proudly watching for over a year countless teary first encounters and dozens of giddy women giggle as they mastered feeding their child. As much as I loved my sister, human interaction was never her strongest suit. She refuses to attach herself to people, refuses to let others inside of her circle of trust. If the way she has cared for me-since that dreadful day that we lost our father and, emotionally, our mother-and continued to care for me, however, is any indication of what kind of mother she will be, then she has the potential to be one of the best. But Katniss does not believe in herself the way I believe in her, the way an entire nation now believes in her. A push in an encouraging direction from her sister, her biggest fan, is all she needs. I smile slightly, rubbing my hand under my eye to wipe away excess tears, as I think about being there to help Katniss care for the child that she will soon bring into this world.