Numb (sasusaku)

2.

note: remember, this is slightly au and the ninja world is more urbanized and mixes with the culture of present time

What a delightful sin.

Yes, she reveled in the way the tight silk hugged her body, accentuating her delicate figure. The straps were thin, and the hem reached mid-thigh. It revealed a lot of skin, but that was okay with her, she wasn't a very revealing person to begin with so she allowed her milky skin to be an exception. The skin she allowed everyone to see would make up for what she kept hidden, beneath it all. And it made her feel less dirty when she thought about it that way.

The deep red almost resembled blood, a sultry color that younger her would disapprove of. A slight smirk graces her features at the thought of her old naivety. She knew now, fearing what you were born with was a pathetic excuse for living. She embraced the devious way this simple yet alluring dress made her look, to her, it didn't make her feel easy. It made her feel alive.

She alone established the fact that she was attractive. She didn't need a man to tell her she was sexy, she didn't need a man to feel sexy, she knew she was. The moment she slipped on this dress, it was clear to her. She was beautiful. Covered or not, she was beautiful, sexy nonetheless. It's the way she kept her troubles to herself, saved others from the despair that boiled within her by never letting it leak through her skin that made her beautiful. It was an odd definition that nobody else probably used, but it was enough for her and that's all that mattered.

After stashing her paycheck in her safe and grabbing her purse, she strutted out of her home and headed to the party she was so eager to go to. She remember why she hasn't gone out in awhile, it was a mission that took up at least a week and a half with Naruto and Sai. How she forgot, it was probably the amount of sake she consumed once she returned.

She frowns softly when she remembered how Naruto showed irritation towards her when he asked if her sake obsession had calmed down yet and she snapped at him. He should've expected it really, who did he think he was, staging an intervention during a mission like that? His and her life were separate and she didn't want him interfering. She knew that Naruto was fully aware that she was drinking away the pain of Sasuke's absence, not just physically, but emotionally. After he tried killing her, Naruto saw the difference in Sakura, the sad, dark state of shock that had already been pre-established, intensified. He figured out that that was the root to all of her obsessive drinking, he was sure of it.

Sakura just wish he didn't. 

When Sasuke abandoned her and the village, of course she was devastated. She knew how badly he was hurt and all she wanted to do was erase the pain behind his eyes, the pain within his heart, and replace it with her endless love. She had hope for him, she believed that he was capable of being happy again. She was a broken-hearted being who hung onto the last, thin shred of hope and it took a toll on her. She caught herself day-dreaming of the raven-haired boy, sometimes even pretending like he was still there. Some mornings, she'd wake up in peace, full of content, forgetting that her first love was no longer there. And when it hit her, maybe while she was eating breakfast, or washing her face, the world around her stopped. The palms of her hands would sweat, and her body would tense, right before pitiful tears pricked her eyes.

And these conditions of loss and abandonment only intensified when he tried to kill her, with no trace of the man she once knew, leading to her ultimate loss. Herself.