the boy on the cliff ☯

late

Holding his hand feels like holding a dream, a wish.
Chanyeol tilts his head towards me, looking at me intently from under short, dark lashes. He gives the faintest of smiles and then looks away again hurriedly, cheeks flushed.
His hand is tender and baby-soft.
I feel light-headed with euphoria, and all I can feel is Chanyeol's hand in my own, his shoulder pressed against mine.
My heart flutters.
I want it to lead to more.
I want him to hold my hand forever.

I walk up to the lunch table apprehensively. Will it be different now? It will be, right? Is he...? Are we...?
I put my tray down. Chanyeol isn't here yet. He must be still in the lunch queue, or caught up somewhere on the way.
I start eating.
I glance over to Sehun, wondering whether to talk to him, and then decide against it. His eyebrows are furrowed, his mouth set into a scowl of pure rage, but he looks almost like he's about to cry.
"Sehun?" I say tentatively. "What's up?"
"Nothing's wrong. I'm totally fine." He murmurs and frowns and proceeds to glare over at the "popular" table. Luhan's table.
Ah.
Luhan is cosied up to some guy from the football team. I think he's in my English class. Zhang Yixing.
Sehun refuses to talk to me after that.
I look around the room for Chanyeol eagerly. Where could he be?
My brain is a mess of thoughts and hopes and worries.
He held my hand.
The boy I love.
The boy who is... was?... my best friend.
Are we... More than that, now? I see him now, walking towards our table. He slips into the seat next to me and my heart sticks in my throat. He looks even more mesmerising than ever, but maybe that's just me. There's no real difference, except through my eyes. He shoots me a faint smile and that's when I realise I've been beaming at him like an idiot.
"Hey," He says quietly.
"Hey." I echo.
Neither of us continues talking after that. I stare at my empty plate like it is the most interesting thing I've ever seen, waiting for Chanyeol to finish his own food.
"You okay?" He asks, chewing slowly.
"Yeah... Yeah." I nod.
"D'you wanna come to the library with me?" He offers.
"But... You're not done." I answer.
"Doesn't matter. I'm not that hungry, anyways. Come on."
So I push my chair back, stand up, and follow him out to the library.
I'm slightly confused. Chanyeol hates spending time in the library.
"Why are we here?" I question, sitting next to Chanyeol on the floor self-consciously.
"Becayse I have a test next week," He says. "And I thought you could help me study."
"You don't." I say accusingly.
Chanyeol sighs under his breath. "How did you know?" He huffs.
His face softens. "Okay, Baek. I just wanted to be alone here with you. Just anywhere, with you, really."
I try to hold back my smile, and fail miserably. Chanyeol laughs, and I rest my head on his shoulder tentatively.
He leans his cheek against my hair and I relax into him. I can feel his body move with every breath, hear his rhythmic heartbeat, as if we are one being, fused together forever.
The room is silent, but comfortably so. Chanyeol's hand drifts into mine, our fingers fitting together like puzzle pieces.
This moment feels special, the kind of thing I'll never forget.
The library is mostly dark and smells like old paper and dust, but I barely notice.
I forget about everything. It's just me and Chanyeol, draped around each other in the dim light. Neither of us is says anything but the silence says more than enough.
My skin feels warm and tingly and there's no other way I can describe it other than alive.
"We'll be late for class..." Chanyeol mutters, breaking the perfect silence. "I know you hate to be late so-"
"Shut up" I breath, with new-found confidence. "And just kiss me already."
"That's the cheesiest line ever.." Chanyeol murmurs with a small smile, but then his lips are pressed against mine, so softly. My eyelids flutter closed, and the awkwardness melts away. My skin feels radioactive. Emotions that I can't name crackle through my body. Our noses bump gently, and Chanyeol guides my hands around his shoulders. I smile into the kiss, unable to hold it back. His lips are warm and soft and strong and perfect. So, so perfect.
My heart feels as if it is about to leap out of my chest.
And then he pulls away slowly, his eyes shining.
I blink, taking in huge gulps of air.
"Y'know, you don't have to wait until afterwards to breath." He tells me, draping his arms around me. "You can breath through your nose."
I'm laughing too, now.
"Good to know. I guess I'll do that, next time." My head spins in a way that makes me wonder if I'm about to cry. Or possibly explode. Maybe both...
"You want a "next time"?" Chanyeol whispers, and lifts his hand to brush a wisp of hair out of my eyes.
He kisses me again, only quickly this time, on the corner of my mouth.
"Come on, we really will be late for class..."