the boy on the cliff ☯

gift

"Can Chanyeol stay tonight?" I kick off my shoes and peer around the door. I haven't seen Chanyeol for five days, not since the evening on the balcony. I haven't stopped worrying about him since. Not seeing him physically aches, like a bottomless pit of loneliness in my gut. Five days - five days of dreaming of drowning in the ecstasy of his touch, of hearing his adorably deep voice that sends shivers down my spine, of just listening to him talk about anything - was too long. It felt like five years.
"Of course. Has he asked his parents?" My mother looks at me over her shoulder, still continuing to chop the vegetables on the kitchen counter in front of her. She's only met once before, a few weeks ago. She said he was a "nice boy" and that she was "glad I had a close friend". I had internally panicked at that point. Does she know about us? How did she find out?
Or were her words simply coincidental?
I decided, after that, to stop caring about what other other people thought. So what if she knew? I wasn't ashamed of Chanyeol. Or my sexuality. What did it matter if she knew? If anyone knew? It was going to happen eventually.
I nod vaguely, and proceed to drag Chanyeol up the stairs.

I flop backwards, half hanging off the edge of the bed, my arms trailing on the floor loosely. The world flips upside down. I think I like it better this way. My bedroom looks so different from this angle. Bigger, somehow.
"Baek, you're going to give yourself brain damage." Chanyeol says from the other side of the room. He is sitting on my desk chair, but facing the wrong way, his hands leaning to the back of it, his legs at the sides.
"Really?"
He doesn't even look bad upside down, I think to myself. Not even in the shadowy, yellow light of the dim light bulb overhead.
"I don't know. Maybe. All the bloods going to go to your brain." He shrugs.
"Ugh. My head is starting to feel really weird." I struggle to get upright, pushing up off the floor with my hands, but instead slither to the floor.
"Ah, ow." I mutter under my breath.
Chanyeol starts to laugh quietly and leans forward, reaching out an arm to me.
I grab his hand tight and pull myself into a sitting position on the carpet. His fingers are baby soft, but long and strong, almost completely enveloping my own.
"Y'know, upside down definitely isn't the best place to be." He says, screwing up his nose.
Staring into his eyes, it feels like falling for him all over again. He slips off the chair to kneel on the floor beside me.
"Why're you looking at me like that?" Chanyeol asks pointedly, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smile.
"Like what?"
"Like... All cute and kind of... sexy."
"I..." My cheeks feel hotter than the bonnet of a car on a hot summers day.
"I wasn't trying to-"
Chanyeol's lips are against mine before I can even finish my sentence. He pushes me up against the side of my bed, his hands cupping my face. A wave of electricity runs from my head to my toes.
"I couldn't resist," He breathes. "You're so... I don't know... I can't help myself. You're addictive."
"You're literally just describing drugs." I'm smiling invoulantarily, uncontrollably, a thing that rarely happens when it isn't something to do with Chanyeol.
"Sure." He shrugs. "You, drugs... What's the difference?"
"Well, doesn't matter if you overdose on me."
"Huh, yeah, what's to stop me?"
His lips taste sweet and tangy as he kisses me, his breath beating softer than a butterfly's wing. Five days without him felt like a prison sentence. I can't get enough of him now. My head feels as if it is about to burst. My blood burns, my heart hammering so hard that I'm surprised it isn't visible through the fabric of my T-shirt.
I forget that we are in my tiny, cramped bedroom, that my parents are downstairs, my older brother in the room next to this one.
Chanyeol's fingers graze my cheek as he pulls me ever closer to him. Our bodies mould together as if we were made for each other.
As our lips part, he wraps his arms around me, hugging me from behind. I rest my head under his chin, matching my breathing to the slow, gentle rise and fall of his chest.
"Wh-what was up with you the other day? You were so... Different." I wonder out loud.
"I was fine. I am fine. Everyone has off days, right?"
"I guess so." I pronounce it slowly, eking out each syllable. Sure, everyone has bad days, but maybe not like Chanyeol does.
He kisses my forehead. "Don't worry about me, okay? Promise me you won't."
"Okay. I promise." I say uncertainly. It's hard not to worry about him. In fact, I'll probably do it still, anyway.
"Hey, wait wait wait... It's Christmas Eve tomorrow. I almost forgot about Christmas. Wow, you distracting little shit. See what you did."
"You're so cute when you swear." Chanyeol laughs. "But I feel kind of bad, Baekkie, I didn't... I haven't got you a Christmas gift, or anything..."
"It's okay." I turn around, kiss him feverishly between breaths, unable to get enough of his lips. "You're the best gift I -" Another kiss. "I could ever have." I kiss him again, my hands running through his hair.
"I love you, you cheesy little nerd." Chanyeol manages to get out. "But hey, calm down, I'm not going anywhere. You're kissing me like you never will ever again."
"Sorry... I got carried away." I sit back on my haunches.
"I didn't say stop," He reaches out, brushing his thumb across my cheek bone.
And so I kiss him again.