Danny POV -
It was seven in the morning, my daughter tossed and turned in the bed beside, restless and dying to go and play. I sighed and turned my body towards her, " Vicky darlin, go back to sleep" I groaned as I tried to get comfy,but something hard was lying under me. Frowning, I arched my back and found the root of the problem, a fucking toy doll !. I sighed and threw it off the bed and it landed on a thud on the floor. " No !! Shelly!!" Vicky yelled as she looked at her best friend made of plastic and covered in god knows what, lying on the floor. " Daddy! " she yelled at me, her face scrunched with anger, resembling every inch of her mothers face when she was mad. My body froze as I looked at the little girl in the bed next to me. Pink pj's on, face pale with blushed cheeks and her medium length brown hair in pig tails. " Sorry sweetie" I whispered as I kissed her head and leaned over and grabbed her doll. Placing it up against my chest, I kissed it and apologised while handing it back to my daughter. " Are you hurt Shelly?" she asked seriously but her childish voice making it sound so humerus. I smirked and crawled out of the bed.
Sleep in's were no longer possible for me. Every morning at 7 am Vicky woke me up. Our routine was, shower, brush teeth, get dressed and have breakfast. After that, the day was really whatever Vicky wanted to do. Most of the time she wanted to see her " crazy" uncle Mark or as she calls his " Ark". They spent the day watching cartoons while I sat in my den alone, contemplating every single thing in life. The past two years have been the hardest of my life. I have had to be a mum and a dad. Learn the bottle feed's , nappy changes and learn what she want's when she cries. To be honest, it all took its toll on me and I had to give up something in my life . I decided to take a break from music for a while, originally maybe a year but now its catching on two and a half and I still haven't written a song or went out in public. My whole world just shattered when I lost her, everything stopped and I stopped with it. " Daddy, I'm hungry" Vicky moaned as she looked up at me through her big brown chocolate eyes. " No your not Vicky, you just ate" I said smiling at her. " No, I am ! " she protested playing with my necklace. Her heavy breathing was some what soothing to me. Her skin smelled of lavender, just like her mothers. Nothing had changed, I made sure to by the same shampoo and body wash as Vick did, just to keep her alive. At night, I hit my knee's and prayed, prayed til tears streamed down my face and begged for her to come back. But no matter how much I prayed, begged or tried to persuade God that Vick had to come back for our little girls sake, he never would allow her.
Inhaling in, I lifted my little monster and walked towards the kitchen " Your only having fruit" I stated seriously. " No !, I want cookies" she smiled at me, trying to get her own way. " Victoria, no! " I said, fighting to hide my laugh. Mark had joined us in the kitchen . " Your daddy is very mean! no cookies " he said in a sad voice, making Vicky laugh at him. " Bold Ark" she laughed as she slapped him playfully. Mark fell back on the floor pretending that her petty slap was full force. I placed Vicky down on the counter and peeled a banana and chopped it up. I placed it in a small plastic Barney bowel and handed her her little plastic fork. Picking her up, I placed her in her booster seat at the table and sat down beside her. I watched in fascination as she fed herself and how every movement she made reminded me of her mother. The thought made my eyes fill up. Sniffing, I asked Mark to look after Vicky as I walked into our bedroom. The room was a state. Toys all over the floor, bed not made and our bed sheets were stale. I hadn't changed them in ages, hoping Vick's scent would stay on them. But after two years, they fade and you forget what the touch of her skin felt like, the sound of her laugh, the taste of her kiss. All I was left was her clothes and wedding ring which lay on a chain around my neck.
Sitting down on the floor, I sat on a barbie. Wincing, I threw it at the wall and as it banged, the tears broke free . Sobbing on the floor, I prayed once more she would come back . I was a shit dad, how the fuck could I do this?.
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