Mark POV -
Dan sat at the bar beside me, he slumped and looked at his half empty pint of the black stuff. Honestly, he looked so tired, black rings around his eyes and we all knew he wasn't coping. Waving my hand at the bar tender, I ordered another round. " Let's get a booth lads" I suggested as I headed to a vacant booth in the corner. It was quiet, dark and honestly, I knew that we needed to talk. Me, the stupid joker deciding to be serious was not exactly my forte but fuck it Danny needed to hear the truth. Sitting down, I took a deep breath and looked at Glen. We both knew what I was going to say. " Dan, you need some help" I said, hoping he wouldn't hit the fan and go mental on us. " I know.." he muttered, sipping his pint. " Is there anyone you can chat to?, like a professional" Glen added looking at me with weary eyes. Danny sighed, " amm, I might go to Dr.Dean he was Vicks shrink and well she said he was sound and you could talk to him" . The idea sounded good and I fucking glad he was trying to get back out there. " And what about the band?" I added, wondering what he would say. He looked at me, his eyes half dead . " I wanna keep going, trust me lads I do. I just.. I don't know how to restart" . Nodding, I knew what he meant. " Well look, enough serious chat cause I am shit at it . Lets just have a fucking good time and we will sort it out. But man you ain't giving up. I will stick a pole up your arse if you give in" I laughed as I took a slug out of my pint and laughed .
Over the course of the night, Danny got progressively drunk. On his twelfth pint, he declared he was fucked and wanted to go home. Watching him stumble to the jacks, I laughed. He was fucked, the eyes in his head were wired and he needed sleep. I followed him to the toilets and stood beside him at the urinals. " Man, I really could do with some sex" Danny slurred as he laughed. " I know you do made, it's been two years" I laughed. " No, I ain't gonna sleep with anyone, never will ever ever again. NOOOOOOOOO ONE did it as good as she did" he sighed. The thought of Vick hurt, I loved her like a sister and she was a great drinking buddy. When her and Danny got pissed, they would basically have sex in front of your eyes. It wasn't uncomfortable, in fact it was fucking gas and you couldn't help but laugh at then touching each other and giggling like school kids. Finishing up, I brought Danny back out to the booth. " He needs to go home" Glen said soberly. I nodded and we got Danny outside and waited for a taxi. " I will walk" he yelled, shrugging me off and starting to make his way. " Noo, stay with us mate" I said, hoping he would stop stumbling. London was no place to be drunk alone. " No, I need alone time, if you know what I mean" Danny winked. I laughed " You can wank later Dan, just wait til you get home so you don't jizz in your pants" . Danny stopped and looked at me. " I miss her so much" he sobbed. Taking out his phone, he dialed a number. Danny was known for his drunk dialing. Jesus he called me so many times to tell me he loved me and many times he would call me to tell me Vick and him were gonna have sex and how excited he was. " Dan, no give me the phone" I begged, trying to take it off him. Danny swayed away from me. He was ringing Vick's phone and we all knew there would be no answer.
" Hi Vick here, sorry I can't take your call, I am busy being in love haha. Leave your name, number, blood type, length of penis and I will get back to you" rang out in the air. Hearing her voice sent shivers through my body. Danny stopped and looked at the phone, realising that she was never gonna pick up. Turning, he looked at me with tear filled eyes. " Awh Dan, come on mate in to the cab" I whispered as I helped him into the taxi. Tomorrow would be another day and hopefully he would be able to get some help.
Danny POV -
Sitting in a black leather chair, I looked around the spacious office. It was the first time I had ever been in here . I could see everything that Vick use to see on her visits. Kester walked in, shaking my hand " Danny, how are you?" he asked solemnly. " Hey, Coping" I said, trying to force a smile. Kester opened a window and lit up a cigarette. I looked at him in disbelief. " I received that look before, from Vicky" he laughed, stopping when he mentioned her name. Even her death had got to him. " So..what do you want to talk about?" he asked, but he knew well. I looked at him, nervous and afraid to say it. " I ... I need help" I stuttered. Kester nodded, accepting my plea .
" How is your loss effecting you?" he asked, taking a drag out of his cigarette. " I just feel like I am dying, slowly. I can't get my life back and I know I never full will. But I have a daughter for fuck sake. How the hell am I meant to be a dad and stop myself from breaking apart" . " Danny, what you have experienced, it's not something that happen every day. Yes women do die in child birth. But I think what hurts the most for you is that you and Vick weren't married long. You both were just starting out and it was taken away from you. Grieving it is perfectly normal. But it has been two years, you need to try and get on with life. I want to show you something. It belong's to Vicky and I think it is time you have it." he said, getting up and heading towards a press. Unlocking it, he searched through the files and took out a red leather book. Handing it to me, he smiled " This is Vicky's diary. Every one of her thoughts about everything is in here. And I think you need to read it". I nodded and took the diary, looking at the smooth leather cover.
Shaking his hand, I left the office, feeling as if I wasn't going mental like I thought I was. Vick's diary sat on my lap. I couldn't dare open it yet, I wanted to wait until I was alone.
