The Beachlorette

CH 7: The Little Pink Umbrella

 I emerged from the jungle an hour and a half later, scratched, bruised, thirsty and frustrated. Not only had I found nothing to eat, the trail I had followed had led me in one enormous circle back to the beach where I had started.

Gazelle walked by me carrying a coconut, and, my eyes almost burst out of my head (or at least came to resembles Gazelle's eyes). Sitting oh so jauntily in the coconut was A LITTLE PINK UMBRELLA.

 I considered if insanity or sort of of jungle fever had finally taken its hold on me. Say what you want about sororities, but this many women aren't made to live together in such a confined area! 

Gazelle paced by me again, and this time I noticed not only was the little pink umbrella oddly out of place, but the drink had ice in it.

I used my extensive and deeply informed detective skills to form one conclusion: something fishy was going on here.

"Umm Gazelle," I said in my sweetest voice. She turned on me like a rottweiler on a chipmunk.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Oh, ummm, I was just wondering where you got your drink?" I sounded like a chipmunk.

"Oh Riley Smiley, the drinks just come like this."

 Umm wait, what? I opened my mouth to circle back to the drinks (and then the interesting addition to my name), but she plowed onward. 

"Its just so hard with all the other women here....I mean we all just want to get time with Gaston, and there's just never enough to go around."

She gazed at me with her giant eyes, and for a moment I almost sympathized with her. It was the same trick they pull with those sad dog shelter ads to get you to adopt a stray. Big eyes are just so sad.

"Yahhh, just never enough...time," I agreed lamely. We had been on this island less than three hours. Gaston sat beside two women, building a sand castle that resembled a piece of anatomy only he owned. I wanted to circle back to the drink, more delicately this time, but again she opened her mouth.

"Too bad Jonathan isn't here," Gazelle said with an enormous sigh. I was careful not to look into her enormous, hypnotic eyes this time. But she was right... Jonathan! Where was he? I hadn't seen him since we landed on the beach. He seemed a perfectly logical sort, even if impeccably dressed. If anyone could explain Gazelle's drink, or had a plan to survive, it would be him.

I scoured the beach, but Gazelle's owl eyes didn't miss a thing. She was right.

Jonathan was gone.

And I was going to find him.