Stitchers Script

Episode 7- The root of all evil

Previously on "Stitchers" How long have you been spying on me for? The entire last year.
I wouldn't mind doing some fieldwork.
The agency has people who handle the fieldwork.
Unsocialized nerds and girls in catsuits need not apply.
You must think I'm an awful person.
All things considered on certain occasions, I'd say you're Pretty remarkable.
Oh, and I don't think you're an idiot.
- Thanks.
- You're more of an imbecile.
It's so nice to finally meet you, Kirsten.
Kirsten: Did Ed Clark commit suicide? - No.
- How did he die? Protecting you.
Ed Clark left this for me.
It has a sequence of terms on it.
Do you think you could try and decipher them for me? Linus: Those digital codes on the cassette that Ed gave you, they're map coordinates.
(Rock music playing) Everyone wants the best of me Camille: Where have you been all my life? Who? Not who.
These boots.
They're sick! They're $500.
I think I'm going to be sick.
(Exhales) Uh, you have that kind of money? - No.
- You don't need new boots.
But I deserve to treat myself every once in a while.
You know, most government contractors make bank, we zap you into dead people's memories to solve crimes.
We should be paid accordingly.
The Program already pays us.
Yeah, but there's no surplus.
And these have patent purple leather, tigers eye buttons, antique brass ring detail, and a kitten spool heel.
So, stop whining and ask for a raise like normal people do.
You are telling me what normal people do? Oh, and our hot water heater is on a blink, so take it easy with those long showers.
You have no sense of time.
How do you know how long I take in there? Today was 23 minutes and seven seconds.
(Knocking) Okay, timing me in the shower is mega creepy.
Mega.
Like now I need another shower.
Hello.
Is Kirsten home? Why no, she is not.
Liam? I knew there was no point in trying to surprise you, but I hope you're happy to see me.
Of course I am.
Come in.
Um But I have to go.
I don't.
Yes, we do.
It's for work.
It's urgent.
Do what you have to do.
You mind if I hang here till you get back? Make yourself at home.
Hi.
- Camille.
- Bye.
Okay, spill now.
Who is Liam? My boyfriend.
Wait, what? (Theme music playing) Take me inside Take me inside Our sample is a Jane Doe, early 20s.
She was found by hikers on a trail beneath Mulholland Drive.
There is evidence of a scuffle by the side of the road above.
You mean she was pushed.
That's what the L.
A.
P.
D.
believes.
- That's horrible.
- Yes, it is.
But we can't fine her killer until we identify her.
Any questions? I have one.
Since when does Kirsten have a boyfriend? "Boyfriend"? I think Maggie meant any relevant questions.
Correct.
Get to work.
Camille, let's talk.
(Mouthing words) Yes, I know.
Relevant questions from here on.
Spare me the lecture.
"Boyfriend"? Oh, so the magster likes to dish.
Okay, his name is Liam, and he is drop-dead delicious.
What do you know about him? Nothing.
He just showed up at our door this morning like a little slice of heaven.
Meanwhile, Kirsten has never mentioned him.
Okay.
Find out everything you can about him.
I want a full report.
Uh, actually I'm not comfortable with that.
Excuse me? Well, when you first recruited me to spy on Kirsten, I didn't know her, but now that we're Ugh, friends.
Yeah, it just doesn't feel right.
Mm.
We pay you to complete your assignments which right now is about Liam not to spy on Kirsten, but to protect her.
That's what friends do.
Entiendo.
Speaking of pay, now might not be the best time and it isn't.
Not comfortable with that either so - Medical.
- Go.
- Communications.
- Yep.
We're a go.
- Sub-bio.
- Go.
- Life-sci.
- We are a go.
Comm check.
One, two, one, two.
I hear you.
Tim, how we looking? Awesome.
Okay, Kirsten, once inside the memory, try to focus on finding us a name for Jane Doe, huh? Will do.
Let's hit the road already.
"Roads"? Where we're going, we don't need roads.
Initiate stitch neurosync on my mark.
Three Two One Mark.
(Dance music playing) Cameron: Talk to me.
Where'd the memories pull you? Right into a hot tub.
There she is.
I see her.
Jane Doe is here partying with friends.
The place is beautiful.
So Jane Doe's rich.
Or just friends with someone who is.
Best fourth of July ever! It's fourth of July.
I'm the boss man, I'm the head of the committee lay the law down, got the keys to the city I'm in the house with them now.
Find some identifiers.
An address or Somethin'.
(Barking) Giorgio, stop it.
No.
No, baby.
Come on.
She's got a little yip-yip dog.
- Aw.
- We need a name.
Uh, Sunshine, we need a name.
- For the dog? - For Jane Doe.
She's taking selfies with an issue of Mulholland Magazine.
I think it's her house on the cover.
Camille, pull up archives for Mulholland Magazine.
On it.
This place is wired with all the bells and whistles.
Lots of expensive art.
Even in the bathroom.
I'm in a different bathroom now.
How many bathrooms does this place have? (Alarm blaring) 45 seconds.
45 seconds.
Different how? It it doesn't belong in the same place as the first, it's old.
Shabby.
30 seconds.
Make the bounce, Ace.
"Iheartlinus.
" Sorry, I never got her name.
Any idea who killed her? No.
All her friends seemed happy.
She was just a rich girl that liked to party.
- (Whistles appreciatively) - Camille: Talk about curb appeal.
Do people actually live like that? One percent of the one percenters.
There.
That one.
That's the issue she was waving around.
Camille: "Living large with Joe and Susan Parks.
" - Are there any photos from inside the house? - Sure.
Look that their closet? That's twice the size of my bedroom.
And it doesn't have little clown letters that spell out "Linus" over the door.
Kirsten, is that the same house? Yeah, I'm sure.
Okay, Kirsten and Cameron, you'll come with me to verify the place.
Well, what about Fisher? Fisher is on special assignment.
I thought we were a special assignment.
The agency needed him elsewhere.
Oh, fantastic.
We haven't had a vague answer in almost 10 minutes.
We don't need help.
Firstly, neither one of you have a badge.
Yet.
Secondly, someone may have to break some very bad news to two parents.
Hey, Fisher, it's me.
I know you're on some sort of agency thing, but I was right, and you were wrong.
Ed Clark didn't commit suicide, he was murdered.
Call me.
What was that all about? How vague do you want your answer? Kirsten, may I remind you that we're both on the same team.
We going in? Okay, so the situation requires tact and discretion.
Maybe you should wait outside.
Maybe you should bite me.
Clearly you two will let me do all the talking.
Ugh, even his passport photo is delicious.
Wow.
World traveler.
Ugh, what a total do-gooder.
I hate him I hate him I love him.
- (Door opens) - Ooh! Hey there! It's Liam, right? Camille, we met earlier, sort of.
Well, it's nice to make it official.
Go out for a little run, I see.
Just a short one today.
The hills around here are a challenge.
Can I get you and the boys something to drink? Tap is fine.
Well, don't hear that very often.
Not in L.
A.
anyway.
It's easy to forget how lucky we are to turn a faucet and fill a glass with fresh water.
That's so true.
Thanks.
And thanks for letting me stay here.
This place is a palace compared to what I've been used to.
Which is? A hut in Peru this last year.
And before that a yurt in southeast Asia.
(Scoffs) Shut the front door.
A yurt by choice? Well, I'm a cultural anthropologist, so I need to immerse myself in different ways of life, so I can contribute something positive to the local community.
And you? Me? Oh, I don't do anything to help mankind.
I'm completely self-absorbed.
So where does Kirsten fit in all of your good-doing? She doesn't.
At least not the way I'd like her to.
We met three years ago, I've asked her on a few trips, but she has her own goals of course, so we end up spending a lot of time apart.
That's terrible.
Fortunately, time doesn't mean anything to her, so we just pick up where we left off.
I love that about her.
Don't you? Totally.
(Clears throat) She lives in the moment as we all should.
Just one of the many things that makes Kirsten so damn lovable.
Thank you.
Look familiar? Kirsten: Looks identical.
This is the house.
Hello.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
I'm special agent Maggie Baptiste.
I'm on an assignment with L.
A.
P.
D.
- And you are - Oh, we're, um Graduate students of criminology and forensics.
We're tagging along.
What she said.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Parks, I'm sorry, I have bad news to share with you.
The body of a young woman, early 20s, brunette, five foot four, was found on a hiking trail below Mulholland.
Someone was killed in our neighborhood? I I'm so sorry.
How can we help? We believe that she lived here.
That's impossible.
Do you have a daughter? No, it's just Suzanne and I.
Fourth of July, where were you? I'm sorry, are you studying forensics or interrogation? We have reason to believe that the victim hosted a party here on the fourth of July.
We were out of town that weekend.
I was at a SPA in Oheim, my husband was in Portland.
So it's possible the victim knew your house would be empty.
The alarm company would have notified us if someone broke in.
Not if they bypassed the alarm.
I'm sure I would know if a bunch of strangers held a party in my home.
We must have the wrong house.
No.
I saw that hallway, the couch, the sculpture, - It's all - Excuse I'm sorry, you saw She means the um Photo spread in Mulholland magazine.
- Oh.
- What are you hiding? Kirsten! We're not hiding anything, and I resent the accusation.
Mr.
Parks: Here's a name I want you to remember: Jonathan Tuckman.
His firm is Franklin and Tuckman in Century City.
He's my lawyer.
Any more questions, talk to him.
Sorry to disturb you.
We will find our way out.
- But I know - Kirsten.
I'm sorry about that.
She's the worst student in our program.
Beautiful home.
Maggie: Cameron! Gotta go.
Maggie: Tact and discretion are not in your vocabulary.
- Told you.
- I know what I saw.
In a dead girl's memory.
Do you want to explain that to those people? I'm not wrong.
There is one thing I know for sure, nothing and no one is foolproof.
Whatever Kirsten's seen in the stitch she's aways been able to piece together, so she may not be foolproof, but she'll do until foolproof shows up.
Fabulous speech.
Get in the car.
(Elevator ding) Hey! How'd everything go at the mansion? Badly.
The Parks have no idea who Jane Doe is.
She's not a Jane Doe anymore.
You made the I.
D.
? Well, the only thing they found in her pockets were her keys And this.
A plastic bag? Or a doggy poop bag.
I know you mentioned you saw a dog in the stitch.
Well, where there's a poop bag, there's gotta be a dog.
So I did a search and I got a hit Bel Air animal shelter.
Meet Giorgio.
Aw, he's so cute.
Well, someone just found him wandering and turned him in.
Oh, he's sweet.
(Barking) I I saw him barking at a guy in the stitch.
Luckily he was chipped.
That's his owner.
Brenda Miller.
She goes by Bentley Miller on Twitter and Facebook.
- Nice work.
- Thank the pooch.
He's wandering all alone in this world Filled out the papers for adoption.
I cannot tell my parents.
Kirsten: Forget the dog, where's Bentley's keys? (Door shutting) We're a long way from Mulholland.
Thought you said she was rich.
It seemed like it.
So who's Liam? Um boyfriend.
Sort of.
Boyfriend adjacent.
He travels a lot.
Hmm.
Long distance relationships are hard.
Yeah, not not for me.
Right.
I mean, when he's here it's fine, and when he's gone, it's like he's always been away.
I never miss him.
You're the ultimate no-strings girlfriend.
Whoa, someone dreamed about living large.
Meanwhile, all she has is junk.
Nothing worth killing over.
(Rattling) That on the other hand, might be.
Maggie: There's been a series of break-ins of homes near Mulholland drive.
No leads until the jewelry you found was linked to those burglaries.
That's Maggie for "thank you.
" All right well, I spoke to Bentley's family in Kansas.
Apparently, she moved out here to become rich and famous.
I guess breaking into homes was part of her business plan.
Let's not play "blame the victim.
" We know who she was and what she was involved in.
Why was she killed? She might've gotten tangled with an accomplice, someone she tried selling the stolen goods to, or someone she stole from.
No, I think she kept it all.
I mean, that jewelry made her feel better about herself.
It made her feel like she mattered.
I searched Bentley's social media presence.
Her one friend was in a lot of photos with her.
She was near the hot tub with Bentley.
Yeah, this is Sadie Morton.
She works at a high-end spa in Beverly Hills.
I'm pushing her "deets" out to everyone right now.
Oh hey! K's got a hot dinner tonight.
We're in the middle of a case.
Cameron, how long until the refractory period is up? - Six hours.
- So we'll call you if we need you.
Right, Maggie? Make sure that you can be reached.
Cameron, why don't you go see what you can find out about Sadie Morton? - Where are you going? - I was coming with you.
- I don't need any help.
- I'll keep you company.
Dude I I've never been to a spa before.
- Fine.
- All right.
- We can get mani-pedis.
- You're kidding, right? We'll call you if we need you.
Enjoy your dinner with Liam, just don't show up wearing that.
Liam? Hey.
Look at you.
Look at you.
Aren't we going out? Well I thought so, but I went to take a shower, and there was no hot water.
Yeah.
I need to get the heater fixed.
Not anymore.
I fixed it.
Really? Thank you.
Then I figured I would whip up some dinner, and we could hang here.
Oh.
Unless you'd rather go out.
You know, it's um It's just that I bought all this stuff for tonight.
This is for you.
Okay, thanks so much, but I can't accept this.
This is too expensive.
Are you okay? Yeah, of course.
Why? The clothes, the makeup.
You usually keep it simple.
Mm.
Yeah, I had a weird day at work, and I think it's affecting me.
What are you doing for work these days? Oh, you know me.
Just geeky computer stuff.
It pays the bills.
Well, you're home now.
Relax.
I've missed you.
And I know in your way you've missed me, too.
I can feel It all rushing back in I asked you to find out about Liam, not make sure Kirsten could spend more time with him.
Look, I did the requested snooping.
I searched the Internet, I even scoured the deep web, Liam Granger, totally clean.
There are no red flags.
This guy is like the lovechild between Brad Pitt and Mother Teresa.
I checked his junk, I Looked through his personal items, and I got you some photos.
The point is, if Kirsten wasn't dating Liam, I'd be all over him.
Oh! Um yes? Can we switch gears for a second and talk about my - No.
- Okay.
Okay great, we'll see you this afternoon.
Hello, gentlemen.
I'm sorry, we're only seeing women right now.
Awesome.
Actually, we need to talk to Sadie Morton.
May I ask what it's regarding? We are here on official business.
She's with a client right now.
Would you like to wait for her in the harmony room? It's out and to the right.
Thank you.
Where did you get that? Comic-con.
- Imperial police.
- Mm-hmm.
(Chairs humming) - Linus? - Yeah? Why does a girl trust a guy who disappears for two years and then suddenly reappears? You're asking me? I don't know, you and Camille kind of sort of had that thing.
Kind of sort of clearly doesn't make me an expert on women.
- Hi.
- Oh! Hi.
Um, we're um With the police.
I know.
We need to ask you a few questions about Bentley Miller.
It's so sad.
I can't believe bents is gone.
Her mom called me.
It's just awful.
Where were you last night? Wait, you think I killed her? I think the two of you broke into people's houses and stole from them.
Oh my Am I under arrest? Depends how the next few minutes go, ma'am.
I'm the bad cop in this relationship.
Okay, we called it "house sitting" breaking into houses to party.
But we only did it when people were out of town.
We never hurt anyone.
And you stole from them.
No! No.
At least I didn't.
We just wanted to know how it felt like to have everything we wanted, even if it was just for a little bit.
Only thing is, Bentley got greedy.
I gave Bentley the info on who was gonna be out of town, and she disarmed the alarm systems.
I have a lot of wealthy clients here.
Did you break into Joe and Suzanne Parks' house? Yes.
We were partying and Mr.
Parks came home.
We got out of there, but Bentley couldn't.
She was trapped inside there with him for hours.
Parks lied.
He wasn't out of town.
Miss Morton, we're gonna have to ask you to stay in town.
At most, we're gonna need your cell phone number just in case we have any more interrogating to do.
What? Or not.
You're dismissed.
I'm calling Kirsten.
You're just a chicken.
(Romantic music playing) (Phone buzzing) (Knocking rapidly) Oh! Hey.
Why haven't you answered your phone? Um - Been busy.
- Busy doing what? Hello, mate.
Hello.
Liam, Cameron.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I I didn't mean to interrupt.
I was, um Just haven't answered your phone, and we kind of need you at the office.
It's, um kind of an emergency.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'll be quick.
Excuse me for a second.
Sure.
So what do you do for work exactly? Oh! Um (Sniffs) Do I smell matsutake? Yeah, good nose.
It's matsutake mushroom Risotto to be exact.
But those mushrooms aren't in season.
But I have friends in fungal places.
Oh.
- You should try some.
- Oh, no.
It's fine.
Oh okay.
It's actually not bad.
Sorry, Liam.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
I understand.
Wait just one second.
So That's Liam.
- Your point? - No point.
The Risotto was a little undercooked, though.
But he seems like a decent enough fellow.
- You're different around him.
- How so? Just more of a Betty, less of a Veronica.
Oh, so I'm usually a Veronica, and around Liam I'm a Betty? Yeah.
So what does that make you? Archie? Or Reggie? Possibly Jughead.
So you're not worried about messing up anything with the Stitchers Program, your friends? Oh oh wait, you think Liam is a threat to that? (Scoffs) Why can't I have all that and also Liam? Why can't I have it all? Liam: Dessert.
To go.
Thanks.
You're amazing.
Lights at 20%, please.
Com check.
One, two.
Talk to me, Betty.
Yes, Jughead.
I hear you.
- Linus, what are they talking about? - I don't know, but I thought I was jughead.
Cameron: All systems are go.
We are in the pipe five by five.
Initiate stitch neurosync on my mark.
Three, two, one Work.
I'm in the Parks mansion in a huge bedroom.
Someone's home! (Woman laughing) (Kissing) Joe Parks just brought another woman into the bedroom.
With Bentley there? She's hiding.
(Indistinct mumbling) She's videoing them on her phone.
(Moaning) (Footsteps) I'm now on Mulholland.
Bentley is here walking Giorgio.
(Car door opens) - Wait.
- (Car door shuts) (Loud beeping) Her adrenaline is spiking.
Someone's coming.
The price just went up.
You better pay or this is going public.
30 seconds till the bounce.
- What's happening? - They're fighting.
Who's Bentley fighting with? Kirsten, who's fighting with her? I can't tell.
(Screams, thuds) I'm bouncing.
- Exit pin code.
- "Iheartliam.
" I mean Linus.
"Iheartlinus.
" I never got a good look at who pushed her, someone in a peacoat and gloves.
But Bentley recorded Joe Parks having an affair, and then blackmailed him.
- He must have killed her.
- Yeah.
But now we know not for what she stole, for what she saw.
Well I think it's time for the L.
A.
P.
D.
to bring Joe Parks in.
Camille: But his name is already Giorgio.
Yeah I know, but what kind of name is Giorgio? What were you thinking of changing it to? Abhishek, Mahesh, Swaminathan You know, something totally normal.
Okay, people.
Mr.
Parks is in custody.
He lawyered up, but they found evidence that he had texted Bentley the week before she was murdered, so job well done.
Cameron: This calls for celebration.
Dinner? My place? 7:00 P.
M.
? I'm cooking.
So is Liam.
Sorry.
He's cooking tonight for Camille and I.
And he cooks too! He's amazing.
It's a consensus.
Not a problem.
Tapas for one it is.
Make it two.
I'll bring beer.
I thought you were picking up g Giorgio tonight.
The shelter just texted me.
Apparently Giorgio hates men, gets all Tasmanian devil and barks and stuff.
I got rejected as a potential owner.
Oh, I'm sorry Linus.
Bro night? I got him.
Go.
Have fun with Lance! Linus: His name is Liam.
I know his name.
Marcona almonds, quince paste, dried apricots, fig marmalade, - and - Grapes.
Yum.
Well then why did you call him "Lance"? What do you think of the fig marmalade? - It's figgy.
- Mm-hmm.
(Clears throat) Why don't you like Liam? Who said I don't like Liam? You referred to him as something you do to a boil on a person's neck.
Mm-hmm.
Refill? Somebody's jealous! Dude okay.
The guy has been gone for two years and just randomly shows up out of the blue, okay? I'm worried.
I don't want Kirsten to get hurt.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait.
Do you think Liam is one of those guys? Dude! He's perfect.
He's got this, you know, perfect smile, and his Perfect abs.
Wait, you saw his abs? And he's this total do-gooder, just dedicated to saving the planet.
Did I mention that? Wait, wait.
Back up, back up.
You saw his abs? It's this total like Greek God six-pack thing.
Okay.
Yeah, you should be worried.
Okay, and who has time to research social and cultural phenomena around the world and work out? Well what does the Internet say about him? I didn't check.
I don't want to be one of those guys.
Well, good thing for you, I am.
- What's his last name? - Granger.
Liam Granger.
What? Oh.
Oh this is not good.
I knew it.
Tell me no, don't.
- Ah! - Okay, tell me.
It's all true.
Liam is perfect.
Liam is perfect.
Mm-hmm.
(Dinging) Oh! That's our saffron-infused rice.
Dude, screw the saffron.
You know what we need? To do 1,000 sit ups and start a foundation for starving children? No, we we need a real bro night.
But this is real.
This is faux bro.
We need real bro! No.
No way.
(Gasps) The boots? For me? From you? Shut up! You said you wanted them.
Well, want them? I want to marry them, but they're way way too expensive.
- I can't.
- Don't worry.
Liam fixed the water heater, which saved us way more than those boots cost, so Okay.
I know you're not a hugger, but And you! Thank you, handsome for the water heater and for making Kirsten more awesome than she already was? Is? Are those fried cheesy rice balls? (Barking) (Barking) Ignore Cujo.
Hand me your balls.
Thank you so much.
(Sniffs) Mr.
Parks didn't kill Bentley.
The dog was with her on Mulholland Girl talk.
I am so sorry.
Just one sec.
Uh Linus said Giorgio hates men, that he barks like crazy around them.
But in the stitch, the dog wasn't barking.
So whoever was with Bentley, whoever killed her was a woman.
Everything okay? No.
Um Camille and I work at we work at a company that creates video games, and I just realized there's a major glitch in one of the levels.
Mr.
Parks is not the right killer in the game.
Ugh! And we have to go reprogram.
Can dinner wait? You're going to leave me again? - It's just a game.
- It's a very important game.
I will loop Cameron and Linus in.
Ah.
Seriously I mean, these boots are just like who needs a man? Who needs a woman when you've got pizza, beer, and a 4K L.
E.
D.
TV? (Video game noises) Tell me again why I'm here? Because it's bro night, and you're our newest bro.
Yeah.
(Gasps) Whoa.
Um, how do you spell "profoundly bad frickin' idea"? - Just as it sounds.
- How do you know they're not home? I checked the motion sensors on the alarm system.
They're out.
Okay, but even if you do find the gloves you saw the killer wearing, what are you gonna do? It's inadmissible as evidence.
Until we tell Maggie where we found them, then she gets a warrant and goes in and finds them Again The gloves will both have Bentley's DNA and the DNA of the killer on them.
They're the key to this.
Okay, but speaking of key, what about the alarm? It's a secure assist 200.
I clocked it when I was here with Maggie.
A notoriously easy to hack system.
How notoriously easy to hack do you think (beeping) - (Door unlocks) Nevermind.
Okay.
Let's split up.
I'll check the bedroom, you look down here.
Right.
(Yelling) Go, go! Pick up the health pack! What are you doing? He's right there! - (Explosion) - Oh! No! Are you that's absolutely incredible! - Best 27 out of 53? - Bring it.
Yes.
(Machine gun noises) To bro night! Oh! Ain't nothing downstairs.
Check the drawers in the bedroom.
I'm still in the closet.
(Scoffs) Not with Liam around you ain't.
Who are you? I can explain, I think.
How did you get in here? Smartphone, not so smart home security system.
Don't move.
I'm calling the police.
And when they get here, you can tell them how you killed Bentley.
My husband killed that girl.
You're that forensics student.
Your husband is innocent.
You killed Bentley and framed him.
You used his cellphone to text Bentley.
- You can't prove that.
- No.
Not yet.
- But I will.
- You don't know what you're talking about.
Your husband didn't have an affair, you did.
Bentley recorded you.
The woman in the video, she was wearing this.
That woman was you.
You knew if your husband found out, he'd dump you, and you would lose everything.
And you were greedy.
But Bentley was greedier.
And when she upped the price to turn over the video, you killed her and pinned it on your husband.
- (Chuckles) - (Clears throat) How much do you girls want? Because money solves everything in your world? Just tell me what you need to keep your mouths shut.
We don't need anything except this.
My jewelry? Fine.
Take it all.
Oh, no.
You keep your filthy necklaces, and your bracelets, and your diamonds.
All I need is this.
And all I need is this.
You okay? (Music playing) Need anything else? - A girlfriend.
- What about Camille? A reliable girlfriend.
Someone who's not gonna get all flustered at the sight of Liam's abs.
Do you want my opinion? Dating is too much of a hassle.
I know.
I feel you, bro.
You know what I think we need? A girl-fast.
A total break from women.
- Right this second it starts.
- Immediately.
We should work on awakening our Kundalini.
Yeah, we should we should definitely awaken whatever that is you just said.
We awaken it and harness our power by abstaining from sex.
Yeah.
No sex.
No sex.
It's not like you guys are getting any, anyway.
Get out.
put the pedal to the metal and go the yellow madellow with slicks on sending 'em home stick cars in the concrete, gripping the road So quick, get in the palm trees, look out, whoa Next time, you will call someone before going out on your own.
Totally.
And despite your slight errors in logistical judgment, good job.
Thanks.
I'm gonna grab our things.
Okay, third time's the charm.
Enough of a good job to warrant, say, a raise? You've earned it in more ways than one.
So how much do you want? Hold please.
(Chuckling) Done.
- Wait, can I add a zero? - Don't push it.
So what did you find on Liam? Camille thoroughly vetted his credentials.
They all checked out.
Perfectly.
Too perfectly? A year ago, Liam was awarded an N.
S.
F.
post-doctoral fellowship in emerging third world cultures.
- Impressive.
- And worrisome.
Here's a picture of him receiving the award.
You think it's him.
It's hard to tell from the picture, but my gut says, "yes," and if there is even a chance Flash drive.
I'll take care of it, you I'll keep an eye on Liam.
(Door closes) What's that? - Key to something.
- Key to what? I'm not quite sure yet.
(Laughs) Kirsten Clark, you continue to be an unexpected mystery to me.
A beautiful one, though.
I mean it, Kirsten.
You're beautiful.
Just like this.
No layers of makeup, no fancy dresses Just you.
Thank you.
You may not feel it they way I do when we're apart, but I know how right it feels when we're together.
Me too.
Will you marry me?