Living Without a Heart

Behind the truth

Chapter 7: Behind the truth

JOSE

Before I went out the bathroom I filled a cup that I got from the food court with beer.

Walking to the exit while taking sips from the cup I noticed Alex walking into an antique store. Throwing the cup away I quickly ran behind her into the store.

Grabbing her by the waist so I can turn her to face me, but she didn't know I was gonna do that or that it was me because all of a sudden I felt like I was losing air. She had elbowed me!

"Shit Alex," I just got my air back when she slapped me across the face. Wait she just slapped me!

"What the fuck Jose, why didn't you meet up the food court instead of scaring the shit out of me!"

The sting from my cheek disappeared. I can't say that I stood her up because I was meeting my dealer, so I came up with a lie instead.

"Because I didn't have the balls."
"Oh but sneaking behind me is a much better idea!" I smirk at her.

"Can you let go of me," I looked down at where my hands were grabbing her waist. I took my hands off of her waist slowly not wanting to ever let go and put them in my pocket.

"I need to talk to you Alex like really talk to you and explain why I just-"

"Listen here, you can't just walk back into my life like nothing happened as if you didn't leave me heart broken at the airport! There is nothing to talk about!" What I did next was stuiped but I didn't care. I just wanted to feel her lips on mine again.

I was about to lick her bottom lip when she pulled back and slapped me. "Don't you dare kiss me ever again."

That hurt.

"Sorry I don't know what go into me. I just want explain and if you don't forgive me I'll be okay with that as long as you let me explain."

She grabbed something off the shelf and walked to register with me behind her trail. "I'll let you explain yourself, I'll  text you the details later."

I wanted to kiss her over and over again to thank her for letting me explain but I restrained myself. I followed her out the store when I noticed her brows come together and knowing Alex that meant she was thinking of something.

"Jose have you been drinking?" I put my head down trying to think of lie to say but I couldn't.

"I have to go Alex, thanks for giving me another chance," I quickly start walking away.

"It's not a second chance Jose."

"Well I'll see you soon I guess."

I quickly make a turn to the bathroom and ran into a stall and took out the bag I got this morning.

Inside were small bags of white powder. I opened one of them quickly and put my pinky in it. I put my finger up to my nose and breath it in.

I sat on the toilet looking at the blank stall door thinking of everything she said, the way she said it, how I know that she hates me. I put my pinky in the bag again and did it one more time before I closed it. Then began to cry.

Yes lady's and gentlemen I a man is crying.

"Why! Why did I fucken have to do that! It's all because of this that I fucked up!'' I was about to throw the bag into the toilet but my hand wouldn't let it go.

I can't let it go.

I took out the little bag again and stared at it before I felt  my finger going inside without me telling it to.