Preventing The Inevitable

Chapter 28

Soft, golden rays filled the previously dark room as the sun began to rise. Sakura squinted as sunlight caught her eyes. She was tempted to close the curtains to regain her sight—before she remembered that said curtains had disappeared from their dining room a week ago. Yūta said they'd sold them. It wouldn't have mattered anyway since he'd told her to keep the lights off during the daytime. Sakura preferred being blinded by sunlight to being shrouded in darkness while they sat at the low table.

She stole a glance at the boy sitting across from her, taking in his relaxed posture as they ate breakfast. She studied his face, as if his calm expression could give her some kind of idea of what training would entail.

Depending on what Yūta decided to teach her in his 'preparation for the Academy training'—her second such course already—the result would either benefit keeping her cover intact or become another hindrance she'd have to tiptoe around.

After yesterday's incident with Inner, Sakura had spent the rest of the day theorizing and jumping from one thought to another. While she felt guilty for the almost morbid curiosity she held about Inner's condition, somewhere deep down, the researcher at her core couldn't help but relish the prospect of observing a case like Inner's. She'd examined her theories from as many angles as she could, hoping to find a hole in her hypothesis.

But no matter how much she turned the thought around, her initial theory stayed solid.

Dissociative amnesia.

'A disorder in which a person suffers from abnormal memory loss. They might forget a specific event or parts of their personal history. Caused by recent or past trauma, witnessed or experienced.'

That was the definition she'd come across during the war.

Some of her studies had touched on the psychological effects of extreme stress. Things like battle fatigue, stress-induced amnesia, depression, substance addiction, imposter syndrome, and suicidal ideation. Injuries of the mind. Though Sakura's field primarily focused on physical injuries, she—like most Iryōnin—had received brief training from the Yamanaka to recognize the kinds of disorders the war was bound to leave behind.

Even if a person was physically well, mistakenly sending out a mentally unstable shinobi could lead to much larger casualties than just the death of that individual. Shinobi needed to be able to trust each other to have their backs and make the correct calls during the frenzy of battle.

Tsunade had been right to order the mandatory training. Sakura had come across many patients that were dangerously impacted by mental trauma caused by the war. Many of which were permitted to rejoin the troops after a check-up by a Yamanaka clan specialist.

Unfortunately, just as many ended up being deemed 'Unsuitable for Service'. Stripped of their shinobi status, they would be sent to one of the safe zones. It was never a happy thing. Each time someone was discharged, Sakura would catch the way passing shinobi stared after their now-civilian comrade with bitter eyes, silently envious of those that got to leave the frontlines and live in peace deep within their territory.

So while she wasn't Ino, Sakura knew some surface-level information about dissociative amnesia. Just enough to identify it—although the signs had been obvious, now that she looked back at it.

It seemed that Inner was blocking out a specific part of her memory. An event that must have happened within the past year. And, judging by her reaction to Sakura's question about Kizashi, one specific, traumatic event.

The last time she'd seen him.

The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. Their father was dead. Inner's last meeting with him must have been shortly before his death.