Prologue: The Beginning of the Beginning

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Part I

Rain clouds were my favorite thing in the world. Especially the dark ones that were full of heavy droplets that flooded the streets. I liked the deep gray ones that towered in the skies, flying through the air with the fronts. They were darkening the sky now; I could see them through the tall windows in the front room. If I moved my head to the side, I could see the darkest part behind the gnarled tree in our front yard.

Oh, how I wanted to run through the rich green grass of our lawn! The time of day was absolutely perfect. Our gardener hadn't been around in a few days, because he was on vacation, and so the grass was thicker than the normal two inches. It was soft on your feet when you ran barefoot. You could wiggle your toes in it and nothing would feel prickly. It was cool at night, just after sunset, and toasty warm under the summer sun.

The toiling overcast skies made everything just perfect. I could pull on my purple rain coat with the blue hood and my floral galoshes and wait patiently for the rain to fall on my head. I could feel the large drops patter against my coat, and it could wet my hair until it looked like black paint on my scalp.

Daddy said I couldn't go outside in my new yellow dress. But what did I care about getting it dirty? Right before a storm was the best. It was windy and cool. The humid summer air didn't make you sweat, and the sun couldn't burn my pale skin.

I didn't even really like the dress. It was itchy, and the zipper scratched at my back. Mommy said that it made my eyes pop-and that's why she bought it. Daddy said I looked like a princess. But princesses had beautiful, fluffy ball gowns that swirled around their feet and trailed behind them on the floor; so I didn't believe him. This dress had thick lace on the bottom and barely touched the shins on my short little legs. I felt like a bumble bee with the yellow and my raven black hair. Bumble bees were scary.

"Daddy?" I called from the sofa. He was nowhere to be seen. Just moments ago, he was standing by the window. His phone had rung very loudly in his breast pocket. I didn't know why he seemed so nervous. The call seemed to frighten him. I tried to watch him, so that I could know why he was so upset, but he walked into the other room. And I couldn't follow him, because Mommy said I wasn't allowed to get up and run around-my hair had already come out of its yellow bows.

We were all waiting for the guests to arrive. Today was my birthday. I was turning five. I didn't like it that Mommy and Daddy were inviting all these people that I didn't know. There wouldn't even be any kids for me to play with. I would be all alone and bored.

"Daddy?" I called a little louder, leaning forward to try and peer into the hallway, but my little neck couldn't stretch far enough. All I saw was the door frame.

"What is it, honey?" replied Mommy instead. She walked into the room from where Daddy had left. I pouted a bit. I wanted to talk to Daddy.

I looked up at her soft face, round cheeks and sharp chin. Her brown eyes were warm and comforting. She sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into her golden sequin dress. She sparkled like a fairy-like the princess Daddy said I was. "I wanna talk to Daddy," I demanded. "Where is he?"

She planted a kiss on my head and rubbed my back. "Daddy's talking to some very important people, sweetie," she told me.

I pushed myself back up, straightening my back. "But I wanna talk to him," I said. "He seems sad. Why is Daddy sad, Mommy?" I nuzzled back into her side, wrapping my arms around her thin waist. The sparkles on her dress tickled my skin.

"Daddy's not sad," she assured softly, her sweet breath against my ear. "He's talking to people at work. Daddy's just a little busy."

Daddy always worked. Even on my birthday and on Sundays when we were supposed to be at church. I was jealous of all those kids at school who had daddies to play with them. A girl at my pre-school had a stay-at-home dad, who made pancakes every Saturday. She told me a lot about him and how he mowed the grass while she and her brother played with her dollies in the sandbox. She even had a pool in her backyard that they'd go swimming in when the sun was setting and the water was still warm-oh, how I wanted to do that with my family!

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