I Promise | A Destiel High School & College AU

CHAPTER 17 - I Lost My Castiel

A.N. don't start the music until you get to the letter!

\\TRIGGER WARNING//
~~name calling, vulgar, self harm~~

"Run, run, Lost Boy, they say to me. Away from all of reality."
-Lost Boy by Ruth B.

Castiel had been gone for eight days. The reality of it all was finally settling on Dean. He didn't have a concrete reason for why Cas ran away, but those last words...

You should've let me drown, Dean.

Dean heard them every second of every day while he was awake, and every moment as he slept.

The thought of Castiel in the world on his own, a world that is dangerous and cruel, especially for people who wished themselves dead as Cas did, scared Dean beyond belief.

Long ago, before Dean had been reunited with Castiel, he had promised himself that if he ever saw Castiel again, he would keep him safe. But with Castiel God knows how far away, the chances of him succeeding were fleeting by the minute.

Everyone in the Roadhouse tried to calm him down and assure him that Castiel was going to be okay, but Dean wouldn't believe anything until he saw it.

"Dean," Jo said one rainy afternoon, two days after Cas disappeared, "He's gonna be okay."

"You don't know that!" he screamed, and felt the ache in his head grow stronger from the sound of a canister of salt hitting the ground after he slammed his fist down on the table.

Sam winced at the sound. He hated when Dean was stressed and sad like this. He felt so useless.

He had tried to help Ash get a lead on Cas virtually, but he could tell that he was just in the way.

Dean was getting worse. He had a sliver of hope shining through for the first few hours after Cas disappeared, but the sleepless nights left him more time to think about all the bad that could come to Cas if he was alone much longer.

It's all my fault... Dean would think. It's my fault he's gone. Why didn't I watch out for him?!

The truth that Dean didn't know was that none of it was his fault. At least, according to Cas, it wasn't. Dean was one of the only people to actually make it better.

But he couldn't stay. Not after what they did...

~ f l a s h b a c k ~
|three days before Cas left...|

It was a gloomy day. Clouds covered the sun and a few drops of rain littered the ground. Castiel's last class of the day had just ended, and he was packing up his things as he hastily hurried to get back to the Roadhouse.

It wasn't that he didn't like school...he enjoyed learning. It was the people he didn't didn't like.

He could feel eyes on him and could hear the steps of more than one behind him. He tried to pick up his pace a little, the Roadhouse was only about a ten minute walk from the college.

He made it out of the building and rounded a corner he didn't usually travel down to get to The Roadhouse. He wanted to lose their shadows, and he most certainly did not want them to know where the Roadhouse was.

He turned around when he thought he had ventured far enough off course. He didn't see anyone.

He slowed his pace, keeping a wary eye behind him. When he rounded another corner to get back on track to The Roadhouse, what he found was far from the comforting place he wanted so badly to call home.